But Happy Father's Day, Daddy! I love you!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Any Kid With The Patience To Do This is Probably Actually Possessed
Or, Part Two: The Knitting Loom.
(Note: Please excuse any finger bling in these pictures. This was in December.)
You've probably seen them on TV. Brightly colored hoops with pegs on them. Small children excitedly wrapping yarn around and around and around. And oh look! I made a scarf!
It looks so simple. After mytraumatizing crocheting disaster, nothing could be worse, right? I made some comment about the commercial and Mom mentioned that actually, grandma had some of those that she'd given us. So we dug them out. (Cue theme from Jaws.)
The things look innocent enough.
Remember, though, that since these were my grandmother's bits & pieces, we didn't have the instructions. Or the hooks, at first. And I'm actually not sure what that long thing at the bottom of the picture is?
But thanks to the internet & watching those commercials, we figured out the basic concept. Simple!
Take big plastic hoop.
Wrap yarn around pegs. Twice.
Flip bottom loop over top loop with hook.
Realize yarn is wrapped backwards. Curse. Start over.
Watch yarn fall off all pegs. Curse demon children in loom commercial. Start over.
Yarn does everything you don't want it to do. Whimper.
Start over 745 more times.
Flip out. Make Mommy do it.
Give up. Swear off yarn forever.
Discover only good use for $#%$# looms.
Decide to stick to the classics. Next up: Potholders.
(Note: Please excuse any finger bling in these pictures. This was in December.)
You've probably seen them on TV. Brightly colored hoops with pegs on them. Small children excitedly wrapping yarn around and around and around. And oh look! I made a scarf!
It looks so simple. After my
The things look innocent enough.
Remember, though, that since these were my grandmother's bits & pieces, we didn't have the instructions. Or the hooks, at first. And I'm actually not sure what that long thing at the bottom of the picture is?
But thanks to the internet & watching those commercials, we figured out the basic concept. Simple!
Take big plastic hoop.
Realize yarn is wrapped backwards. Curse. Start over.
Watch yarn fall off all pegs. Curse demon children in loom commercial. Start over.
Yarn does everything you don't want it to do. Whimper.
Start over 745 more times.
Flip out. Make Mommy do it.
Discover only good use for $#%$# looms.
Decide to stick to the classics. Next up: Potholders.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I Probably Have An Addictive Personality, But I Never Exaggerate.
You know those people who pick up a new hobby and become so obsessed with it that they can't do anything else and really don't talk about anything else?
That would be me.
I am a knitting fiend. Although that kind of implies that I'm fast, and I'm really not....but whatever. I thought I would share with you my path to knitting. And actually, you know, making something that can be used.
Part One: My sister attempts to teach me to crochet.
This is my sister:
Sure, she looks innocent enough. But looks can be deceiving. The weirdo actually enjoys untangling yarn.
(I would like to point out at this point that my sister has made socks/slippers, a sweater, baby blankets...she's got some experience.)
I crocheted chains when I was little. 9 or 10 maybe? I don't really remember when it was or how to do it. At all. My grandmothers both crochet, my mom crochets. I'm an anomaly.
The Scene: Sitting next to Sis on the couch. Between telling me what to do, she's crocheting her own something-or-other. I don't think she got much done, as about every .2 seconds I needed instruction. Which would not be so bad, except that for about every .5 seconds, I'd mess up.
This is how I remember it:
Sis: THIS IS WRONG. YOU SUCK. ROOOOAAAAR!!!
-Proceeds to RIP OUT ALL OF MY WORK and turn back to her own like it's nothing. I cower in the corner crying and muttering like Gollum.
What probably actually happened, although the experience was too traumatizing for me to remember it clearly:
Sis: Oh, you messed up. You need to start over.
-Really did rip out my work, although probably not the whole thing every time. (So she says.)
Me: *whimper*
In the end, I did end up with something that may have been pretty, but I never actually finished an entire square. Plus I couldn't do it on my own. I needed instruction for every single step. That kind of makes it not enjoyable. At all.
I'm pretty sure this little square took me about 72 hours to make. Or maybe minutes. Whatever.
Anyway, after all of this, I swore off crocheting. At this point in time, no one in my (immediate) family was a knitter so I kind of figured I was done playing with yarn. Unless I wanted to carry my sister around in a backpack everywhere I went. I love her, but um.....no.
Coming soon, Part Two: The Knitting Loom. Kids do this in commercials, but I think that's a bunch of bullhonkey.
That would be me.
I am a knitting fiend. Although that kind of implies that I'm fast, and I'm really not....but whatever. I thought I would share with you my path to knitting. And actually, you know, making something that can be used.
Part One: My sister attempts to teach me to crochet.
This is my sister:
Sure, she looks innocent enough. But looks can be deceiving. The weirdo actually enjoys untangling yarn.
(I would like to point out at this point that my sister has made socks/slippers, a sweater, baby blankets...she's got some experience.)
I crocheted chains when I was little. 9 or 10 maybe? I don't really remember when it was or how to do it. At all. My grandmothers both crochet, my mom crochets. I'm an anomaly.
The Scene: Sitting next to Sis on the couch. Between telling me what to do, she's crocheting her own something-or-other. I don't think she got much done, as about every .2 seconds I needed instruction. Which would not be so bad, except that for about every .5 seconds, I'd mess up.
This is how I remember it:
Sis: THIS IS WRONG. YOU SUCK. ROOOOAAAAR!!!
-Proceeds to RIP OUT ALL OF MY WORK and turn back to her own like it's nothing. I cower in the corner crying and muttering like Gollum.
What probably actually happened, although the experience was too traumatizing for me to remember it clearly:
Sis: Oh, you messed up. You need to start over.
-Really did rip out my work, although probably not the whole thing every time. (So she says.)
Me: *whimper*
In the end, I did end up with something that may have been pretty, but I never actually finished an entire square. Plus I couldn't do it on my own. I needed instruction for every single step. That kind of makes it not enjoyable. At all.
I'm pretty sure this little square took me about 72 hours to make. Or maybe minutes. Whatever.
Anyway, after all of this, I swore off crocheting. At this point in time, no one in my (immediate) family was a knitter so I kind of figured I was done playing with yarn. Unless I wanted to carry my sister around in a backpack everywhere I went. I love her, but um.....no.
Coming soon, Part Two: The Knitting Loom. Kids do this in commercials, but I think that's a bunch of bullhonkey.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
This is Probably Why My Car Hates Me
Dear Everyone Who Has Ever Driven, Ever, Especially in My City,
In case you're a bit confused about the rules of the road, I thought I'd help you out.
If you're driving behind me, and I look in my rearview mirror, and all I see are headlights, you should probably not be quite so close to me. If I look in my mirror and CANNOT EVEN SEE YOUR HEADLIGHTS, you are way too freaking close to me. Back. Off. You're making me cry.
When a traffic light turns red, it means stop. It does not mean go really really slowly until it turns green again. Also, those white lines on the road? There for a reason. Stop behind it, not when your taillights are still just kind of shining light on it.
When a light turns yellow, you may be at the point where you can go through the light. However, if the light turns yellow and there are 4 cars in front of you, you should probably plan to stop. Yellow does not mean "Okay the next 7 vehicles can go through but I'm turning red just for kicks anyway."
If I'm driving 7 miles an hour over the speed limit and you fly by me, you had better have a woman giving birth in the back seat screaming "THE BABY IS CROWNING!" Because if that's a regular habit, you're probably going to die soon. I'd prefer not to be taken with you.
Sincerely.
In case you're a bit confused about the rules of the road, I thought I'd help you out.
If you're driving behind me, and I look in my rearview mirror, and all I see are headlights, you should probably not be quite so close to me. If I look in my mirror and CANNOT EVEN SEE YOUR HEADLIGHTS, you are way too freaking close to me. Back. Off. You're making me cry.
When a traffic light turns red, it means stop. It does not mean go really really slowly until it turns green again. Also, those white lines on the road? There for a reason. Stop behind it, not when your taillights are still just kind of shining light on it.
When a light turns yellow, you may be at the point where you can go through the light. However, if the light turns yellow and there are 4 cars in front of you, you should probably plan to stop. Yellow does not mean "Okay the next 7 vehicles can go through but I'm turning red just for kicks anyway."
If I'm driving 7 miles an hour over the speed limit and you fly by me, you had better have a woman giving birth in the back seat screaming "THE BABY IS CROWNING!" Because if that's a regular habit, you're probably going to die soon. I'd prefer not to be taken with you.
Sincerely.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Oooh Pretty!
I studied abroad in London. I loved it. I really, really miss it.
I was supposed to spend a weekend visiting Paris, but due to unexpected jetlag to the extreme & the worst sinus infection I have ever had EVER, that didn't happen.
Paris, however, is apparently very "in." Because everywhere I go, there is Paris this and Paris that. Artwork & household decorations & such. I've been casing Hobby Lobby for London-themed artwork for a while. I like having a reminder of my time there. It makes me happy.
And yesterday, I found this:
I. Am. Excited.
Assuming I actually get some cleaning done, I've got a fun idea for decorating my desk space. If I like the way it looks, I'm more likely to actually use it, right?
I was supposed to spend a weekend visiting Paris, but due to unexpected jetlag to the extreme & the worst sinus infection I have ever had EVER, that didn't happen.
Paris, however, is apparently very "in." Because everywhere I go, there is Paris this and Paris that. Artwork & household decorations & such. I've been casing Hobby Lobby for London-themed artwork for a while. I like having a reminder of my time there. It makes me happy.
And yesterday, I found this:
Assuming I actually get some cleaning done, I've got a fun idea for decorating my desk space. If I like the way it looks, I'm more likely to actually use it, right?
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