The evil backhoes and bitching men are back. Remember this? Except they're starting earlier in the morning. Like 7, 7:30. Which okay, I know is not that early. But when I can sleep until 10:30am (and plan my bedtime accordingly) it is not enjoyable to be yanked out of sweet slumber by terrible noises of destruction.
(Although I have to say, I did not mind it quite so much yesterday morning, because the vicious awakening saved me from the dream I was having about JTT being a rapist/serial killer and coming after me. It was terrifying, y'all. This is not funny shit.)
Anyway, I'm just saying, it would at least be nice to know what on earth they are doing out there and if they could maybe be so kind as to staple a warning message to the building announcement board. I mean, really. We're trying to freaking learn here.
On the bright side, I am feeling much better after last night's Magic Juice infusion, also known as 2 liters of saline IV. Thank you, POTS, for making it impossible to enjoy some flipping sunshine without my body being sucked dry of fluid. (For the record, I wore sunscreen and a hat and drank about a gallon of Powerade after the game, but apparently POTS doesn't like the blue kind.)
I realize that this sounds like a big whinefest, but I really am in a good mood today. Except now I have to be productive. Hmm...
Showing posts with label POTS aka My Body Hates Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label POTS aka My Body Hates Me. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Because It's Better To Be Aware
September 14-20 is Invisible Illness Awareness Week. I'm a little early, but this really grabbed my attention, and I wanted to share my answers with y'all.
30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know
1. The illness I live with is: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Meaning that my autonomic nervous system is essentially broken. If you don't know what your autonomic nervous system does, think of all the things your body does without you having to tell it to do them. That's it. The malfunction means I often pass out.
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2006
3. But I had symptoms since: About when I started puberty.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Not doing whatever I want to do. I have to ration my energy. If there are a handful of things I want to do in a given day/week, I can pick one, maybe two of them without making myself sick.
5. Most people assume: That if I look fine, I feel fine.
6. The hardest part about mornings is: Getting upright. My body does not like mornings.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, MD, because as unrealistic as it is, I wish a doctor had been that blunt with me and would have tried that hard to figure it all out.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My laptop. It's how I connect with people "like me."
9. The hardest part about nights are: Falling asleep, and knowing that when I wake up in the morning, I won't feel rested.
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 18, I think.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: See a chiropractor regularly, if that counts. I haven't tried much, but I'd be willing to try just about anything if my specialist recommended it.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I have this one for a reason, even if God's not telling.
13. Regarding working and career: I'm a full time college student, but I've made myself pretty sick a few times trying to keep up with the pace. I would be in trouble without a disability plan, and I transferred recently to get away from people who just didn't get the invisible part.
14. People would be surprised to know: That I am always in pain. Always, as in, it doesn't go away. So when I say I'm in pain, it means, more pain than usual.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: that some people won't accept that I have a different reality. Some people will never understand, and some people will just walk out.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Graduate from high school and get this far through college.
17. The commercials about my illness: Don't exist. It was on Mystery Diagnosis once (kind of accurately)
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: colorguard. No holding the arms above the head. Makes passing out more likely.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: Friends.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Scrapbooking.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Pick up a flag and dance. Go out with my Fiance. Be spontaneous.
22. My illness has taught me: that sometimes even family doesn't understand.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "You look fine to me." or "Just get up and do it."
24. But I love it when people: Sacrifice some of their own "normal" to sit with me when my only choice is to be in bed.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." -The Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Niebuhr
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Until you find the right doctor, sometimes you have to do your own research. Remember you're not alone, even if you haven't found support yet. You will.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: that while some people could not care less, some people care more than you'll ever know.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: So many things...
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to do my part to make sure other people are not treated the way I have been treated.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: happy that I informed someone, happy that someone cared enough to read this whole thing.
Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com
30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know
1. The illness I live with is: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Meaning that my autonomic nervous system is essentially broken. If you don't know what your autonomic nervous system does, think of all the things your body does without you having to tell it to do them. That's it. The malfunction means I often pass out.
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2006
3. But I had symptoms since: About when I started puberty.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Not doing whatever I want to do. I have to ration my energy. If there are a handful of things I want to do in a given day/week, I can pick one, maybe two of them without making myself sick.
5. Most people assume: That if I look fine, I feel fine.
6. The hardest part about mornings is: Getting upright. My body does not like mornings.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, MD, because as unrealistic as it is, I wish a doctor had been that blunt with me and would have tried that hard to figure it all out.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My laptop. It's how I connect with people "like me."
9. The hardest part about nights are: Falling asleep, and knowing that when I wake up in the morning, I won't feel rested.
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 18, I think.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: See a chiropractor regularly, if that counts. I haven't tried much, but I'd be willing to try just about anything if my specialist recommended it.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I have this one for a reason, even if God's not telling.
13. Regarding working and career: I'm a full time college student, but I've made myself pretty sick a few times trying to keep up with the pace. I would be in trouble without a disability plan, and I transferred recently to get away from people who just didn't get the invisible part.
14. People would be surprised to know: That I am always in pain. Always, as in, it doesn't go away. So when I say I'm in pain, it means, more pain than usual.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: that some people won't accept that I have a different reality. Some people will never understand, and some people will just walk out.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Graduate from high school and get this far through college.
17. The commercials about my illness: Don't exist. It was on Mystery Diagnosis once (kind of accurately)
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: colorguard. No holding the arms above the head. Makes passing out more likely.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: Friends.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Scrapbooking.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Pick up a flag and dance. Go out with my Fiance. Be spontaneous.
22. My illness has taught me: that sometimes even family doesn't understand.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "You look fine to me." or "Just get up and do it."
24. But I love it when people: Sacrifice some of their own "normal" to sit with me when my only choice is to be in bed.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." -The Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Niebuhr
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Until you find the right doctor, sometimes you have to do your own research. Remember you're not alone, even if you haven't found support yet. You will.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: that while some people could not care less, some people care more than you'll ever know.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: So many things...
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to do my part to make sure other people are not treated the way I have been treated.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: happy that I informed someone, happy that someone cared enough to read this whole thing.
Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
My Thought Processes Are Really Random
So the only productive thing I did today was change my profile picture.
Okay so that's a lie. I made some phone calls, set up a dr. appointment. Made a bid on e-bay. (Because I am now obsessed.) I might still make a couple of phone calls for work.
Good things about today: My student loan went through. Finally. I microdermed my face in the shower. ...My life is not this sad & pathetic, good things really do happen to me.
Bad things about today: I got ready to go to class & such, got in my car and made it to the bottom of the driveway, then had to call my brother (who was in the house) and have him come get me (from the end of the driveway) and bring me back because POTS hates me. Awesome.
Engagement pictures next week hopefully! (We've only been engaged for a little over 7 months...)
Side note (because the rest of this post is so cohesive): I hate challenge questions that involve favorites. My favorites change. So then I have to try to remember when I set up the stupid account and what my favorite was at that point. And I rarely guess correctly. Annoying.
Okay so that's a lie. I made some phone calls, set up a dr. appointment. Made a bid on e-bay. (Because I am now obsessed.) I might still make a couple of phone calls for work.
Good things about today: My student loan went through. Finally. I microdermed my face in the shower. ...My life is not this sad & pathetic, good things really do happen to me.
Bad things about today: I got ready to go to class & such, got in my car and made it to the bottom of the driveway, then had to call my brother (who was in the house) and have him come get me (from the end of the driveway) and bring me back because POTS hates me. Awesome.
Engagement pictures next week hopefully! (We've only been engaged for a little over 7 months...)
Side note (because the rest of this post is so cohesive): I hate challenge questions that involve favorites. My favorites change. So then I have to try to remember when I set up the stupid account and what my favorite was at that point. And I rarely guess correctly. Annoying.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Another One Bites the Dust
So I'm withdrawing from the stupid class. Because it's a communication class and I "can't make up the work" since the work is "interacting with my class mates" blah blah blah. But at least if I medically withdraw and give documentation from my dr I should get my (parents) money back and the withdrawal should be wiped from me record so it doesn't look like I'm a big fat slacker. Gah.
I am actually kind of relieved. Studying my butt off for one class is tiring enough. And I would kind of like to pretend I have a summer break. So I'll survive. And it's a 100 level class so it's not going to mess with my "on campus credits" or whatever that have to be 200 level or above.
College is stupid.
P.S. Fiance, you no longer have to worry about our engagement not being valid, as I am once again wearing my ring on my left hand.
I am actually kind of relieved. Studying my butt off for one class is tiring enough. And I would kind of like to pretend I have a summer break. So I'll survive. And it's a 100 level class so it's not going to mess with my "on campus credits" or whatever that have to be 200 level or above.
College is stupid.
P.S. Fiance, you no longer have to worry about our engagement not being valid, as I am once again wearing my ring on my left hand.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I Might Care More About the Internet if I Could Stand Up
So I'm at my aunt's house to mooch internet because I communicate with my profs through e-mail and also because without periodic internet use I begin a slow death.
So, yeah, it's great that I'm getting my fix. Except I should be in class right now. But I'm not, because in the past two days I've passed out about 8 times. Awesome, right?
Also, I have the worst back spasm I can ever remember having (which probably doesn't mean much because I tend to block them all out of my mind when they finally end) and various other parts of my body have decided to cramp occasionally. Like my foot and my knee. Nothing about this is normal. Like just about everything else in my life.
So I'm kind of panicked. How on earth am I going to finish my degree if I can't even go to freaking summer class? Gah! I have to get married & work! I mean, I don't have to get married, but I want to get married and since I'm getting married I have to work. Which is what normal people do. It would be nice to be normal...
Sorry. I really am. I get these POTS flares and start panicking about essentially everything. I should calm down in a week or so...hopefully.
Oh my goodness. I'm probably scaring people away with this. I'd say I'm not usually this psychotic, but that would be a lie.
I really need to be working more. Might be helpful to stop passing out first. But seriously. I have no money and lots of debt. That doesn't have to be payed off this instant but student loans suck.
I'm not sure why I'm still talking.
P.S. I am wearing rainbow brite pajamas.
So, yeah, it's great that I'm getting my fix. Except I should be in class right now. But I'm not, because in the past two days I've passed out about 8 times. Awesome, right?
Also, I have the worst back spasm I can ever remember having (which probably doesn't mean much because I tend to block them all out of my mind when they finally end) and various other parts of my body have decided to cramp occasionally. Like my foot and my knee. Nothing about this is normal. Like just about everything else in my life.
So I'm kind of panicked. How on earth am I going to finish my degree if I can't even go to freaking summer class? Gah! I have to get married & work! I mean, I don't have to get married, but I want to get married and since I'm getting married I have to work. Which is what normal people do. It would be nice to be normal...
Sorry. I really am. I get these POTS flares and start panicking about essentially everything. I should calm down in a week or so...hopefully.
Oh my goodness. I'm probably scaring people away with this. I'd say I'm not usually this psychotic, but that would be a lie.
I really need to be working more. Might be helpful to stop passing out first. But seriously. I have no money and lots of debt. That doesn't have to be payed off this instant but student loans suck.
I'm not sure why I'm still talking.
P.S. I am wearing rainbow brite pajamas.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
At Least It's Not Broken
If you could see my typing right now, you would probably laugh. Or, if you're like me, shove me away from the computer and start typing yourself because you can't stand it when people take eight hours to type a stupid blog post. Just do it already!
Right. So...
Anyway, I passed out last night. (on the way to pee. and I was out for a while and took a good long time to get up so I am quite thankful that I didn't wet myself...) Since I was, you know, unconscious, I don't know how exactly I landed on my hand/wrist/arm, but it did not feel good. Decided not to go to the ER last night because I didn't want to admit that I might have injured myself and also because everyone had been sleeping and nobody was awake enough to drive. So last night, ice. And engagement ring moved to right hand in case the left hand swelled up 6 times its normal size. No saws near the fingers, please.
Went to dr today, got X-rays, etc, nothing broken. Thankfully. Sprained though. So I hurt quite a bit and my wrist/hand are all wrapped up so that I don't have full use of my fingers. And typing actually hurts a bit, with the pushing down of the fingers and such.
But I wanted to share nonetheless because I like to share my fun life adventures and because I haven't posted anything of substance lately. I definitely just typed "stubstance." Did I mention my brain isn't quite working either?
Right. So...
Anyway, I passed out last night. (on the way to pee. and I was out for a while and took a good long time to get up so I am quite thankful that I didn't wet myself...) Since I was, you know, unconscious, I don't know how exactly I landed on my hand/wrist/arm, but it did not feel good. Decided not to go to the ER last night because I didn't want to admit that I might have injured myself and also because everyone had been sleeping and nobody was awake enough to drive. So last night, ice. And engagement ring moved to right hand in case the left hand swelled up 6 times its normal size. No saws near the fingers, please.
Went to dr today, got X-rays, etc, nothing broken. Thankfully. Sprained though. So I hurt quite a bit and my wrist/hand are all wrapped up so that I don't have full use of my fingers. And typing actually hurts a bit, with the pushing down of the fingers and such.
But I wanted to share nonetheless because I like to share my fun life adventures and because I haven't posted anything of substance lately. I definitely just typed "stubstance." Did I mention my brain isn't quite working either?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
There's No Point Until I Have Pants
I have a lot of anger and no place to put it. Except maybe here. And on my poor family. When all they do is take care of me.
So.
I. Feel. Pathetic. Since about, oh, 1:45pm-ish my legs haven't worked. For a while, they wouldn't move. At all. But for most of this time, they just won't bear weight. I did somehow make it to the bathroom on my own (one time) and on the way out collapsed & had to be rescued. Goody. I have been transported throughout the (downstairs portion) of the house in a wheeled office chair. This made me laugh, which is good, or I would have to cry.
Due to all of this...erm...crap...I missed my second day of classes. I MISSED MY SECOND DAY OF CLASSES. And now I feel stoopid. (With two "o"s) Because people are going to think I dropped the classes because I was scared of the workload or something, and yeah, my profs have the disability letters, but still. The second day of class? It's like I just want someone to carry me through life. And someone may have to if my legs don't start working agin. Really excited about sleeping on the couch tonight. It's like a slumber party. Alone. Or rather, with dogs.
And the pants? I needed help changing out of my jeans into pjs. Because I'm 3.
So even though it's pathetic and not at all attractive, I'm going to go have a bit of a pity party, because I am in a lot of pain and I can't get to the bathroom to pee on my own and I know a lot of people deal with this stuff every day but there's not really a physical reason for my legs to not work except that they hate me. (And that whole nervous system/blood flow thing...)
So I'm angry. POTS makes me angry. Sometimes my life makes me angry. And this is one of those days. Sometimes I deal by being stubborn. I fall on my face. Sometimes I deal by crying. Then I blow my nose for 64 hours. Right now I really can't deal with it, so I'm just going to be angry. At least for a little while.
But tomorrow's a new day. Right?
So.
I. Feel. Pathetic. Since about, oh, 1:45pm-ish my legs haven't worked. For a while, they wouldn't move. At all. But for most of this time, they just won't bear weight. I did somehow make it to the bathroom on my own (one time) and on the way out collapsed & had to be rescued. Goody. I have been transported throughout the (downstairs portion) of the house in a wheeled office chair. This made me laugh, which is good, or I would have to cry.
Due to all of this...erm...crap...I missed my second day of classes. I MISSED MY SECOND DAY OF CLASSES. And now I feel stoopid. (With two "o"s) Because people are going to think I dropped the classes because I was scared of the workload or something, and yeah, my profs have the disability letters, but still. The second day of class? It's like I just want someone to carry me through life. And someone may have to if my legs don't start working agin. Really excited about sleeping on the couch tonight. It's like a slumber party. Alone. Or rather, with dogs.
And the pants? I needed help changing out of my jeans into pjs. Because I'm 3.
So even though it's pathetic and not at all attractive, I'm going to go have a bit of a pity party, because I am in a lot of pain and I can't get to the bathroom to pee on my own and I know a lot of people deal with this stuff every day but there's not really a physical reason for my legs to not work except that they hate me. (And that whole nervous system/blood flow thing...)
So I'm angry. POTS makes me angry. Sometimes my life makes me angry. And this is one of those days. Sometimes I deal by being stubborn. I fall on my face. Sometimes I deal by crying. Then I blow my nose for 64 hours. Right now I really can't deal with it, so I'm just going to be angry. At least for a little while.
But tomorrow's a new day. Right?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Blech
Dear Head,
Please stop aching. I can't take this anymore. I don't enjoy popping excedrin like candy and I don't enjoy the need to avoid light & sound like some kind of jumpy vampire. And I nap enough as it is without sleeping to escape the throbbing pain. Please, Just. Go. Away.
Me
Please stop aching. I can't take this anymore. I don't enjoy popping excedrin like candy and I don't enjoy the need to avoid light & sound like some kind of jumpy vampire. And I nap enough as it is without sleeping to escape the throbbing pain. Please, Just. Go. Away.
Me
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Bits & Pieces
The swine flu is now a pandemic. Everybody panic. Stop eating pork and don't leave the house without a full body protection suit. But seriously. Wash your hands and cover your cough, you big snotbag. If I see one more woman walk out of a public restroom without washing her hands WITH SOAP I might become girl-in-a-plastic-bubble. Ew.
I feel icky today. Kind of like I'm on a boat (not related to the snl viral video) and have a mildly seasick feeling. Kind of floaty. Like my head is not attached to my body. Also, my left arm keeps falling asleep and occasionally stops working. It's really enjoyable. Especially when I'm trying to type. Gross rainy weather does not help this feeling. Again, ew.
I start classes in 2 1/2 weeks. I don't wanna. Gah. Isn't summer supposed to be relaxing? And also warm?
I don't really have anything interesting to say. I need to get out more. Thought about looking at reception sites today. Actually gonna happen? Not sure. Would really like to get that reserved soon, though. I just want the basics covered this summer. The big things. Because I'm gonna have a honkin' full class load this year and don't want to spend all of my time procrastinating on homework because wedding stuff is more fun. Or crying because some wedding stuff is not so fun. Can't I just jump to the 'yay we're married' part?
I should work. Being my own boss sucks a bit in that there is no one else to kick me in the bum and give me motivation. Work more, get more prizes. You'd think that would be motivation enough. Apparently not.
Right. So I'm off to go pretend to be productive now.
I feel icky today. Kind of like I'm on a boat (not related to the snl viral video) and have a mildly seasick feeling. Kind of floaty. Like my head is not attached to my body. Also, my left arm keeps falling asleep and occasionally stops working. It's really enjoyable. Especially when I'm trying to type. Gross rainy weather does not help this feeling. Again, ew.
I start classes in 2 1/2 weeks. I don't wanna. Gah. Isn't summer supposed to be relaxing? And also warm?
I don't really have anything interesting to say. I need to get out more. Thought about looking at reception sites today. Actually gonna happen? Not sure. Would really like to get that reserved soon, though. I just want the basics covered this summer. The big things. Because I'm gonna have a honkin' full class load this year and don't want to spend all of my time procrastinating on homework because wedding stuff is more fun. Or crying because some wedding stuff is not so fun. Can't I just jump to the 'yay we're married' part?
I should work. Being my own boss sucks a bit in that there is no one else to kick me in the bum and give me motivation. Work more, get more prizes. You'd think that would be motivation enough. Apparently not.
Right. So I'm off to go pretend to be productive now.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Changes...
I don't normally like change unless I'm in total control over it. I probably don't have to mention that the total control thing doesn't happen often... So I'm in the middle of a lot of changes right now. In a little over a year, I'll change my name - a change I want, so it's not so scary. I'll be moving out of my parents house - goes hand in hand with changing my name, so while a little scary, necessary and will be welcomed. I've got my first "real" job, which is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.
The big change, though, is changing schools. It's not carved in stone yet, but as soon as I know I'm admitted... I just completed my third year of college. I'm not supposed to be doing this whole thing again! Applications, admissions offices, campus maps... It's a very strange feeling. People transfer all the time. But I don't. I don't transfer. Except now I do. And while it is my choice, it's not really. Because if I didn't have POTS, this sneaky little disability, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I wouldn't need to transfer. Because I would be "normal." And "normal" people don't irk their professors by being behind even when they're busting their butts. "Normal" people don't have to fight to prove they're capable of college-level work, to prove they actually are intelligent human beings who just happen to have some obstacles in their lives. And since you can't force people to accept you, to stop judging, to take 20 minutes out of their day to do a little research and actually understand what on earth is going on...I'm transferring.
I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I'm excited. I'm leaving friends behind, my life behind. I'm leaving a beautiful campus behind, adorable ducklings and all. But I get to start again, and I get to work with a disability office (insert cheers here).
So I'm trying to accept changes. Because they are, after all, usually for the best. I think. I hope. Right?
The big change, though, is changing schools. It's not carved in stone yet, but as soon as I know I'm admitted... I just completed my third year of college. I'm not supposed to be doing this whole thing again! Applications, admissions offices, campus maps... It's a very strange feeling. People transfer all the time. But I don't. I don't transfer. Except now I do. And while it is my choice, it's not really. Because if I didn't have POTS, this sneaky little disability, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I wouldn't need to transfer. Because I would be "normal." And "normal" people don't irk their professors by being behind even when they're busting their butts. "Normal" people don't have to fight to prove they're capable of college-level work, to prove they actually are intelligent human beings who just happen to have some obstacles in their lives. And since you can't force people to accept you, to stop judging, to take 20 minutes out of their day to do a little research and actually understand what on earth is going on...I'm transferring.
I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I'm excited. I'm leaving friends behind, my life behind. I'm leaving a beautiful campus behind, adorable ducklings and all. But I get to start again, and I get to work with a disability office (insert cheers here).
So I'm trying to accept changes. Because they are, after all, usually for the best. I think. I hope. Right?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Today Hates Me...And the Feeling is Mutual
My gallbladder is killing me, and I've hardly eaten anything, much less a ton of grease to irritate it. The pain in my back is so terrible I can't sit up straight. (I might point out that due to my amazing posture, I probably don't look any different than usual.) It is taking a rather long time to type this because my head is pounding and I see one and 1/2 of everything. All of my limbs have that pins and needles, my foot just fell asleep, feeling. And I hate it.
I'm not trying to whine or complain, but I said I'd write about my life, and today, this is my life. This is one of those days that makes me feel like "the sick girl," my high school title. I hate it.
My college has no disability office. (If you have a disability, do not make this mistake. I love my school, honestly, even though you may not see that love here...but I wish beyond all wishes that it had a disability office.) So, no disability office, I work through the dean's office. I have one advocate. She handles all of the disability work. The problem - most disabilities she works with resemble ADD or dyslexia more than disorders which sometimes involve unconsciousness. (Thank you spell check. My brain is not in it's typical grammar police mode today.)
So, I struggle at school. I struggle in school. And today, I am sitting on the edge of my seat (not literally, because I'm in bed) waiting to hear if my professors will allow me to take incompletes in my classes. Because today, my body is falling apart, and I don't expect a 180 by tomorrow. All I want for christmas is a new body... I don't even care that it's seven months away...
Coming soon, things I don't hate and some happy faces. I promise.
I'm not trying to whine or complain, but I said I'd write about my life, and today, this is my life. This is one of those days that makes me feel like "the sick girl," my high school title. I hate it.
My college has no disability office. (If you have a disability, do not make this mistake. I love my school, honestly, even though you may not see that love here...but I wish beyond all wishes that it had a disability office.) So, no disability office, I work through the dean's office. I have one advocate. She handles all of the disability work. The problem - most disabilities she works with resemble ADD or dyslexia more than disorders which sometimes involve unconsciousness. (Thank you spell check. My brain is not in it's typical grammar police mode today.)
So, I struggle at school. I struggle in school. And today, I am sitting on the edge of my seat (not literally, because I'm in bed) waiting to hear if my professors will allow me to take incompletes in my classes. Because today, my body is falling apart, and I don't expect a 180 by tomorrow. All I want for christmas is a new body... I don't even care that it's seven months away...
Coming soon, things I don't hate and some happy faces. I promise.
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