Tuesday, April 27, 2010

This is Probably Why My Car Hates Me

Dear Everyone Who Has Ever Driven, Ever, Especially in My City,

In case you're a bit confused about the rules of the road, I thought I'd help you out.

If you're driving behind me, and I look in my rearview mirror, and all I see are headlights, you should probably not be quite so close to me. If I look in my mirror and CANNOT EVEN SEE YOUR HEADLIGHTS, you are way too freaking close to me. Back. Off. You're making me cry.

When a traffic light turns red, it means stop. It does not mean go really really slowly until it turns green again. Also, those white lines on the road? There for a reason. Stop behind it, not when your taillights are still just kind of shining light on it.

When a light turns yellow, you may be at the point where you can go through the light. However, if the light turns yellow and there are 4 cars in front of you, you should probably plan to stop. Yellow does not mean "Okay the next 7 vehicles can go through but I'm turning red just for kicks anyway."

If I'm driving 7 miles an hour over the speed limit and you fly by me, you had better have a woman giving birth in the back seat screaming "THE BABY IS CROWNING!"  Because if that's a regular habit, you're probably going to die soon. I'd prefer not to be taken with you.



Nicole said...

Lol! That is so me! I am the one slowing hoping it turns green by the time I get there so I don't have to get my umph back lol Sowie :)

jules said...

Soooooooooooo true!

Nikolett said...

Aww, your car shouldn't hate YOU, it should hate every single driver in your city! I'm not even a driver yet but I get SO fed up with those that don't know how to drive ... I wholeheartedly second this letter and would like to add:

"When you want to switch lanes, even multiple lanes in a moment, PLEASE turn on your turning signal because if you turn and someone smashes into you, it IS your fault." I always shake my fists and cry, "TURNING SIGNAL!" when I see a car changing lanes without one.

Besides the crazy drivers in your city, I hope you're having a good week so far!

Erin said...

Clearly you do not live in Jersey. Here, the speed limit is interpreted more as a suggestion rather than an actual limit, LOL. "Fifty-five? Eh, I think I'll do 70. In the slow lane." I also love the people who insist on driving UNDER the speed limit in the fast lane. Geniuses.

Cole Franke said...

true! such a cute blog. :)

nicole visiting from