Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Everything Annoys Me. Except Coffee.

Dear Men Doing Construction Outside of My Apartment,

Please don't sing. You're bad at it. If you want to sing on the job when you're stuck working in the middle of nowhere, that's cool. But I can hear you. And it is very difficult to change my clothes when I can hear strange men's voices.

The Girl Who is Never Going to Be Able to Wear Clean Underwear Again if You Don't Shut Up


Dear Professors Everywhere,

Return your students' emails. Preferably in full sentences. I don't think you'd appreciate an entire email of sentence fragments and excessive punctuation. Would you?????

Your Student the English Major

P.S. Question marks are typically only used at the end of questions. I am quite concerned about the fact that you have been grading my papers all semester.

Dear People Who Live Above Me,

What on God's green earth are you doing up there? I cannot think of any activity short of failed bungee jumping off of your couch that would cause that much noise. I know that you do not weigh 700 pounds each because I have seen you. Please find a new hobby or a way to insulate your floor.

The Cranky Girl Who Lives Below You and Really Enjoys Sleep


Dear Campus Coffee Shop,

I love you. "Caramel syrup or real caramel?" in response to my order for a gigantic caramel latte was the sweetest sound I have heard in a long time. Just wanted you to know.

Your New Best Customer

Inspired by Nicolasa's Post-It Note Tuesday

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sometimes I Pretend I Cook

You know that commercial with Kelly Ripa? The one where they make a big deal about how the stove boils water in 90 seconds? I mock it pretty much every time I see it. But I am sitting here waiting for my water to boil so I can make ramen noodles, because that is essentially the only food resembling a meal I have in the apartment, and it's been at least 3 minutes and the water is not boiling. I can't decide if this is because my stove sucks or electric stoves in general suck. Either way, it took less time to actually cook the noodles than it did to boil the water. And despite the fact that I have grown up in a generation without, whatever. When I'm hungry, I'm hungry.

So just because I'm curious, do you prefer gas or electric stoves? I cannot be the only one who notices a difference.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Blog (And Immune) Fail

Even though I missed posting on Nov 1, I was going to try really hard to post every day this month in honor of NaBloPoMo. As you may have noticed, I've failed. Despite your many encouragements after my pig flu scare, I do now actually have h1n1. And let me tell you what, people, it sucks.

I was definitely going somewhere with this post but it's gone... Oh, right.

Since I am essentially glued to this couch (at my parents' house, because giving it to me means they should take care of me, right?) I have been cleaning out my bookmarks. I have this bad habit of bookmarking something to "check out later" but then I don't. So I have a few hundred links to "check out." Some are blogs that get added to my reader, some get deleted. But the thing about flavoring vodka with Skittles? That is totally not going anywhere.

(I know I found that link through somebody else's blog but I can't for the life of me remember who. If it's you, let me know.)

If you'll excuse me, I have to go munch on some pretzels and 7-Up while smashing myself between a heating pad and an ice pack.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

If You're Reading This, You Should Know That You Inspired Me

...after reading that title I think I could make a series out of this...

But this particular post is about whoever went to Google and typed in "inside my skin there is this space." And not because my blog showed up in the search.

Because I know that the next two lines are "It twists and turns, it bleeds and aches." The beginning of Absence of Fear by Jewel.

I haven't heard the song in a long time, probably years, but I remember it.

I don't know what the song is supposed to be about. Maybe a guy. I don't think it really matters, because the song helped me get through one of the most difficult times in my life.

The time when I was a cutter.

I am blessed enough to not have any scars from that period of my life, short of the tiniest dent in the skin on the back of my wrist that even I can't always find. But sometimes it still hurts emotionally.

Nothing happened to me. No traumatizing childhood experiences. But I was the typical cutter. Female and Type A. School was killer. A peer once asked me if my parents beat me if I got B's instead of A's (they didn't. I'm pretty sure that would have liked me to chill a little). Writing a paper was a crisis. Projects caused back-to-back panic attacks. It all just got to be too much.

And so I cut.

Sometimes I think about it and it just sounds stupid. Going that far because I couldn't always live up to my own standards. But I know it's not stupid, and I know I'm not the only one.

So if you've been there, I get it. If you're there now, send me an email. Let's chat.

And everybody should have a listen.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

You Searched for What? (Part One)

People search, and I show up. Er, you know, my blog does. I must say it is rather satisfying to see my own blog in the top few items in a Google search. I may have felt the need to high-five myself. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy reading other people's posts about what searches lead to their blogs, so I thought I'd share my own. Although I'm not sure how entertaining it will be, as nothing is dirty...

1 - lost my muse
I feel you, I really do. And that is why I am writing this post in the first place.

2 - rompers for adults
No. No, no, no, no, no. Don't do it.

3 - stick to the topic
Not sure how this got here, as it's not one of my strong points. Did I talk to myself on here somewhere?

4 - broken taste bud
Sucks, doesn't it? I've got a bit-my-own-tongue wound right now, too. Gah.

5 - still skin inside
Um, I don't really have anything to actually say about this. Except maybe you should be more concerned about skin on the outside?

And now back to my Thursday night TV marathon...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Unclean! Unclean!

So last week my dad took me to the doctor so I could get tested for h1n1 because the symptoms for it are the same as the symptoms for essentially everything (including a sinus infection, which was the winner). I was not positive for h1n1 (although the dr had me stay home from class the rest of the week "just in case." I didn't argue.). Today I got a text from my mom. Guess who does have the piggy flu? My dad. So the sweet man drove me to the doctor when I felt too sick to drive, waited a couple of hours with me, and bought me dinner, all the while EXPOSING ME TO SWINE FLU. And since I have the worse immune system in the world, I am finishing every pill of my antibiotic like a good girl, washing my hands for excessive amounts of time, saline-ing my nose, and consuming many hot beverages, because apparently the little devil likes to live in the throat & nose before it attacks. Pretty sure I've had the seasonal flu at least once already. Really not in the mood to catch something that will make University send me home.

I am now going to go pretend I do not feel like total crap because I had an amazing weekend with Fiance and the Colts won. Possibly I feel ill due to the power of suggestion. That could make me throw up a lot...right?