Saturday, December 19, 2009


I survived finals. I am home. And I promise I will post something substantial soon, but for now I am going to crawl into bed and read my book. Which I CHOSE MYSELF. Thanks for all your lovin' & support!

P.S. I did finally shave my legs. It was a hairy experience. (haha...)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Taking Some Time Off for Finals

But if you think you've been neglected, you should check out the hair on my legs.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


There is snow on the ground.

The windchill today was below zero.

The cover to my gas tank froze shut.

I have given away all of my spare change.

Hot apple cider mix in the checkout line caused me to make an impulse purchase.

I have windburn from Christmas shopping. Indoors.

I have to wrap myself in a blanket to stay warm.

And I kind of love it.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Psych paper written.

Women's studies presentation done.

Pizza consumed.

Now I need sleep, 'cause that lit paper isn't going to write itself.

Monday, December 7, 2009


Last night, I reached a new milestone in my adult life...

I cleaned up my own vomit.

It's not like I haven't puked as a Big Kid before, I've just always been hugging my BFF the toilet.

But apparently at 3am, my body had the urge to purge RIGHT NOW. (Thankfully I had gotten up to pee, so my bathroom floor got it, not my carpet.)

The bright side is that while I was fairly certain I was going to die for about 15 minutes, that "if I puke I'll feel better thing" is spot on. So while I'm a bit afraid of making my antibiotic angry again (no way it was the 10 snickerdoodles I ate last night...) I actually feel fine.

I just looked in the mirror and I don't exactly look fine...but I'll take what I can get.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Check Me Out!

Wendy over at Red Boots has been been doing an awesome Letter to 16-year-old Me Project and mine went up today. Read my letter! And while you're over there, check out the letters other people have written to themselves. Wendy's blog is one of my favorites, so be sure to look around!

This is Why I Shouldn't Bother Getting Out of Bed

Today I have successfully:

-put my contacts in the wrong eyes. and almost left them that way because I hadn't worn them in a while & I thought maybe I just needed some time to get used to them again. did I mention I'm going to be driving?

-made myself pb&j and went to put the pb in the fridge. which would not have been so bad except I then went to put the j in the cupboard.

-realized that I blew off a friend last weekend.

-realized that it took me almost a week to realize I'd blown off a friend last weekend. and that nyquil makes me stupid.

-checked my email after immediately logging out of my email account.

-discovered that my inhaler expired 3 years ago. (how much does that really matter, anyway?)

-discovered the above because last night I was having an asthma attack and freaked out because I actually did not remember what an asthma attack felt like. I knew there was a reason I carried that damn thing with me everywhere...

-walked into a room and had no idea why I was there (multiple times...and my apartment has 3 rooms).

And I've only been awake for an hour and a half.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I Want It Back!

Photo by Me

...And it hasn't even really snowed yet. Boo. I am not a fan of winter.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Everything Annoys Me. Except Coffee.

Dear Men Doing Construction Outside of My Apartment,

Please don't sing. You're bad at it. If you want to sing on the job when you're stuck working in the middle of nowhere, that's cool. But I can hear you. And it is very difficult to change my clothes when I can hear strange men's voices.

The Girl Who is Never Going to Be Able to Wear Clean Underwear Again if You Don't Shut Up


Dear Professors Everywhere,

Return your students' emails. Preferably in full sentences. I don't think you'd appreciate an entire email of sentence fragments and excessive punctuation. Would you?????

Your Student the English Major

P.S. Question marks are typically only used at the end of questions. I am quite concerned about the fact that you have been grading my papers all semester.

Dear People Who Live Above Me,

What on God's green earth are you doing up there? I cannot think of any activity short of failed bungee jumping off of your couch that would cause that much noise. I know that you do not weigh 700 pounds each because I have seen you. Please find a new hobby or a way to insulate your floor.

The Cranky Girl Who Lives Below You and Really Enjoys Sleep


Dear Campus Coffee Shop,

I love you. "Caramel syrup or real caramel?" in response to my order for a gigantic caramel latte was the sweetest sound I have heard in a long time. Just wanted you to know.

Your New Best Customer

Inspired by Nicolasa's Post-It Note Tuesday

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sometimes I Pretend I Cook

You know that commercial with Kelly Ripa? The one where they make a big deal about how the stove boils water in 90 seconds? I mock it pretty much every time I see it. But I am sitting here waiting for my water to boil so I can make ramen noodles, because that is essentially the only food resembling a meal I have in the apartment, and it's been at least 3 minutes and the water is not boiling. I can't decide if this is because my stove sucks or electric stoves in general suck. Either way, it took less time to actually cook the noodles than it did to boil the water. And despite the fact that I have grown up in a generation without, whatever. When I'm hungry, I'm hungry.

So just because I'm curious, do you prefer gas or electric stoves? I cannot be the only one who notices a difference.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Blog (And Immune) Fail

Even though I missed posting on Nov 1, I was going to try really hard to post every day this month in honor of NaBloPoMo. As you may have noticed, I've failed. Despite your many encouragements after my pig flu scare, I do now actually have h1n1. And let me tell you what, people, it sucks.

I was definitely going somewhere with this post but it's gone... Oh, right.

Since I am essentially glued to this couch (at my parents' house, because giving it to me means they should take care of me, right?) I have been cleaning out my bookmarks. I have this bad habit of bookmarking something to "check out later" but then I don't. So I have a few hundred links to "check out." Some are blogs that get added to my reader, some get deleted. But the thing about flavoring vodka with Skittles? That is totally not going anywhere.

(I know I found that link through somebody else's blog but I can't for the life of me remember who. If it's you, let me know.)

If you'll excuse me, I have to go munch on some pretzels and 7-Up while smashing myself between a heating pad and an ice pack.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

If You're Reading This, You Should Know That You Inspired Me

...after reading that title I think I could make a series out of this...

But this particular post is about whoever went to Google and typed in "inside my skin there is this space." And not because my blog showed up in the search.

Because I know that the next two lines are "It twists and turns, it bleeds and aches." The beginning of Absence of Fear by Jewel.

I haven't heard the song in a long time, probably years, but I remember it.

I don't know what the song is supposed to be about. Maybe a guy. I don't think it really matters, because the song helped me get through one of the most difficult times in my life.

The time when I was a cutter.

I am blessed enough to not have any scars from that period of my life, short of the tiniest dent in the skin on the back of my wrist that even I can't always find. But sometimes it still hurts emotionally.

Nothing happened to me. No traumatizing childhood experiences. But I was the typical cutter. Female and Type A. School was killer. A peer once asked me if my parents beat me if I got B's instead of A's (they didn't. I'm pretty sure that would have liked me to chill a little). Writing a paper was a crisis. Projects caused back-to-back panic attacks. It all just got to be too much.

And so I cut.

Sometimes I think about it and it just sounds stupid. Going that far because I couldn't always live up to my own standards. But I know it's not stupid, and I know I'm not the only one.

So if you've been there, I get it. If you're there now, send me an email. Let's chat.

And everybody should have a listen.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

You Searched for What? (Part One)

People search, and I show up. Er, you know, my blog does. I must say it is rather satisfying to see my own blog in the top few items in a Google search. I may have felt the need to high-five myself. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy reading other people's posts about what searches lead to their blogs, so I thought I'd share my own. Although I'm not sure how entertaining it will be, as nothing is dirty...

1 - lost my muse
I feel you, I really do. And that is why I am writing this post in the first place.

2 - rompers for adults
No. No, no, no, no, no. Don't do it.

3 - stick to the topic
Not sure how this got here, as it's not one of my strong points. Did I talk to myself on here somewhere?

4 - broken taste bud
Sucks, doesn't it? I've got a bit-my-own-tongue wound right now, too. Gah.

5 - still skin inside
Um, I don't really have anything to actually say about this. Except maybe you should be more concerned about skin on the outside?

And now back to my Thursday night TV marathon...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Unclean! Unclean!

So last week my dad took me to the doctor so I could get tested for h1n1 because the symptoms for it are the same as the symptoms for essentially everything (including a sinus infection, which was the winner). I was not positive for h1n1 (although the dr had me stay home from class the rest of the week "just in case." I didn't argue.). Today I got a text from my mom. Guess who does have the piggy flu? My dad. So the sweet man drove me to the doctor when I felt too sick to drive, waited a couple of hours with me, and bought me dinner, all the while EXPOSING ME TO SWINE FLU. And since I have the worse immune system in the world, I am finishing every pill of my antibiotic like a good girl, washing my hands for excessive amounts of time, saline-ing my nose, and consuming many hot beverages, because apparently the little devil likes to live in the throat & nose before it attacks. Pretty sure I've had the seasonal flu at least once already. Really not in the mood to catch something that will make University send me home.

I am now going to go pretend I do not feel like total crap because I had an amazing weekend with Fiance and the Colts won. Possibly I feel ill due to the power of suggestion. That could make me throw up a lot...right?

Friday, October 30, 2009

Technology Update

Just thought you all should know that I totally kicked my bluetooth thingy's butt. It is my slave. I will now talk hands-free. Yes.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Hi, I'm Twenty-One and Technology Scares Me

I got a new cell phone. It has a touch screen and I lurve it. I also have no idea what I'm doing. My (16-year-old) brother helped me set it up and then he left. And I'm kind of afraid of it. Seriously, the first thing I did was go online and buy protective phone & screen covers. Because you do not spend that much on a phone and then scratch it to heck. I put the little clear cover thingy that comes on it to keep it nice until you use it BACK ON for the time being.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go have a panic attack while trying to set up my bluetooth thingy.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Surviving & Thriving

I had to drop a class. An English class, no less. Which means that I have to find space for one more upper level English class before next year. Probably this summer. And I could be panicking. But I'm not.

I refuse to let one class make me feel like a failure. I've got four other classes and I'm holding either A's or B's in all of them. I would even dare to say I'm thriving.

For the first time in my life, a paper is just a paper. It's not The End of The World. It's not Time To PANIC. I don't sit down and stare at my notes and cry for an hour before I can even get started. It's just. a. paper. And every Wednesday when I sit down to pound out 3 pages for my 4:30pm class, I can't help but think, "Is this what writing a paper has always been like to everyone else?"

The funny part of all this is that I've been weaning off of my anxiety medication. The pretty yellow pills that I have popped every day for years are going away and it feels good.

So I am not going to panic. Instead, I will focus on the classes I sitll have, and on Monday I might actually wake up early to register for next semester. Maybe.

Monday, October 19, 2009


Dear FOX,

I was just kidding. I knew you'd be awesome and just start my show when the game ended. I never doubted you.


P.S. And Baseball, I'll give you another chance. Just don't do it again. I mean it.

I Might Cry

Dear Baseball,

I would appreciate it if, in the future, you stuck to your allotted time. I really don't think you need TWO EXTRA INNINGS to play a game. I know you've got that "all American thing" going on, but I really don't care. I've got stuff to watch. Stuff more interesting than you. Besides, what's more American than a British guy playing a character with an American accent?! Nothing, that's what.

And don't think you can make it up to me by ending the game at 8:35. I've missed over half of my show. So next time, it will be you sitting on the couch watching a sport you hate on the TV praying for someone to freaking score so you can just watch your freaking show.


P.S. FOX, you can bite me. Don't put a new House episode on your schedule for Monday night when you're only going to show an extra long sports game AND the post game show.

P.P.S. Possibly I am overreacting, but I need my tv time. It is my escape from reality. Plus, I get a ton of reading done during commercials without feeling like I'm doing homework at all.


Surprisingly, at least for the moment, I am enjoying fall.

Pashminas, pumpkin spice lattes (yes, I have jumped onto that bandwagon. delicious.), football, adorable flats, sweaters, weather that doesn't make me sweat like a man. I might actually be able to love that.

(pictures by me, of campus yesterday)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Where in the World?

To get your travel fix, head over to Teasingly Diverse, where I have contributed to Where in the World Wednesday. Check it out!

My own wedding Wednesday coming later, unless psychology fries my brain.

Monday, October 5, 2009

My Dream Home...

...has a clawfoot bathtub. Deep enough to actually submerge my entire body and long enough I can lie down. Because while some may argue that baths are soothing because they remind us of being in the womb, I refuse to accept any argument that says lying in a bath in fetal position makes it better.

The perfect bathtub possibly looks like this (thank you Kohler) and possibly only costs a few thousand dollars. Like five.

Pretty sure the best I get for a while is my mineral bath soak.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Saturday Snapshots

...which is totally not my thing but is definitely the thing over at Teasingly Diverse.

The prompt:

Open up your pictures folder {whichever you desire}
Close your eyes
Swirl around your cursor and whatever it lands on POST!

Here we have a kind of crap picture of the view from my window in London. You can't quite tell, but it was kind of fabulous.

P.S. This is possibly much more fun than "Foto Friday" or whatever crap I made up.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Check it Out!

I have a new header! Nikolett at Better Than Coffee held a contest for a new header (designed/made by that a duh?) and then awesomely offered one to everyone who entered. Woo! I heart it. What do you think?

Monday, September 28, 2009

I've Lost My Muse

..which is a total bunch of crap, I know. But really I have. I have drafts saved that are even worse than my typical bunches of ramblings. My brain is going down the tube, y'all. It's from BS'ing all those papers, I bet. Just sucking me dry. So instead of a wordy(-er) post, I will leave you with this:

(taken by me)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

One Word Answers...Really

My awesome friend over at Red Boots tagged me in this, which is good, because it made me feel special & also it gave me something to write about, as I'm having a bit of blogger's block. Go visit her, she rocks.

And let me just say that this just about killed me to do. I was having conversations with myself. ("No, don't add an explanation, it's supposed to be one word.")

1. Where is your cell phone? Nightstand
2. Your hair? Eek.
3. Your mother?
4. Your father? Silly

5. Your favorite food? Ribs

6. Your dream last night? Strange
7. Your favorite drink? Milk

8. Your dream/goal? Accomplishment
9. What room are you in? Bedroom
10. Your hobby? Scrapbooking
11. Your fear? Boredom

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years?
13. Where were you last night? Homework

14. Something that you aren’t? Tall

15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. Wish list item? Degree

17. Where did you grow up? Midwest
18. Last thing you did? Coffee
19. What are you wearing? Pajamas

20. Your TV? Small

21. Your pets? Furry
22. Friends? Few
23. Your life? Crazy
24. Your mood? Anticipatory

25. Missing someone? Always

26. Vehicle? Broken
27. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes
28. Your favorite store? Sale

29. Your favorite color? Teal
30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Week
32. Your best friend? Boy

33. One place that I go to over and over? Class

34. One person who emails me regularly? 20sb?
35. Favorite place to eat? Family

I may tag people later, but I kind of have two papers to write...

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The One Where I Sound Like My Grandmother

"The researchers also found that 28% of the 12-year-olds reported drinking with their friends at least sometimes..."

This is what I come across while trying to be a good student. Reading along in my Abnormal Psych book (by David H. Barlow & V. Mark Durand, to cover my butt...) and that jumps out. We're not even to the abnormal stuff. We're just talking about methods of research. And apparently delinquent preteens.

Twenty-eight percent? Really? Where are their parents? The most I ever had to drink in high school was 1/3 of a Kahlua Mudslide. Actually, I'm pretty sure that's the only drink I had in high school. Are these kids really that bored? What happened to four square? Kickball? The freaking tire swings? Read a damn Harry Potter book!

I may have been a goody-two-shoes, but couldn't they at least wait until the word "teen" was in their age? Am I ridiculously naive or are y'all as baffled as I am? Gonna have to put a freaking padlock on the fridge when I have kids...

Friday, September 18, 2009

In Case You've Ever Wondered Where I Get It...

Email from my Dad's coworker to dad/many other coworkers, forwarded by Dad to me & my sister:

Saturday is national Talk-Like-A-Pirate day.
It would be ok if you honored the day tomorrow (Fri).
Have a nice weekend.

With the included message:

Because I knew you’d want to be aware…!  We’ll be talking.  -Dad

Me to Dad:

 This is the kind of stuff you do at work?!

Dad to Me:

Aye, Lass! The day be an honored tradition amongst the lads. ‘Tis important to pay attention lest there be unrest in the galley or mutiny on the poop deck.  Arggh! 


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Return of the Caution Tape (cue music from Jaws)

The evil backhoes and bitching men are back. Remember this? Except they're starting earlier in the morning. Like 7, 7:30. Which okay,  I know is not that early. But when I can sleep until 10:30am (and plan my bedtime accordingly) it is not enjoyable to be yanked out of sweet slumber by terrible noises of destruction.

(Although I have to say, I did not mind it quite so much yesterday morning, because the vicious awakening saved me from the dream I was having about JTT being a rapist/serial killer and coming after me. It was terrifying, y'all. This is not funny shit.)

Anyway, I'm just saying, it would at least be nice to know what on earth they are doing out there and if they could maybe be so kind as to staple a warning message to the building announcement board. I mean, really. We're trying to freaking learn here.

On the bright side, I am feeling much better after last night's Magic Juice infusion, also known as 2 liters of saline IV.  Thank you, POTS, for making it impossible to enjoy some flipping sunshine without my body being sucked dry of fluid. (For the record, I wore sunscreen and a hat and drank about a gallon of Powerade after the game, but apparently POTS doesn't like the blue kind.)

I realize that this sounds like a big whinefest, but I really am in a good mood today. Except now I have to be productive.  Hmm...

Monday, September 14, 2009

My Brain Won't Stick to One Topic

My random thoughts of the day in no particular order. Enjoy. Or don't. It's one of those nights that makes me long for morning so I can have an entire pot of some coffee, so I'm not going to be picky.
  • I am totally bummed about Patrick Swayze. But at least the pain is gone. (Note: It kind of drives me crazy when a celeb dies and people who never met that person completely lose it like they were best friends. But a life is gone, so I understand being sad. Right now, I'm sad.)
  • This sunburn is either going to kill me or send me to the loony bin. There is no positive option. Also, the only place I'm really peeling is above my lip, which kind of makes me look like I have a mustache. Awesome.
  • That brown sugar face mask was a fun idea, except now I can't get the sticky feeling off of my face and I'm craving baked goods.
  • Screw growing my hair out for the wedding. It's driving me nuts, so I'm chopping it off. Not myself, obviously. That would be disastrous. 
  •  I think I am going to go to bed early because I am crabby and I don't like it. Or maybe I'll watch Dirty Dancing and ball my eyes out cry a little.
Leave me a comment to cheer me up?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'll Still Love Football When My Skin Starts to Peel

Weekend with Fiance was amazing. We watched his University football team play on Saturday (at the stadium - I am sunburnt beyond belief.) Today we watched some good 'ole NFL.

Here's a precious moment from today:

(Fiance & I are both wearing our team's football jerseys.)
Fiance's Roommate: Big game today?
Me: It's the first game of the season.
Him: Basketball?

He was not even kidding. I don't think I can be friends with him.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Eight Years

8th grade, history class, row by the window, second seat from the front. I wore the plaid skirt that used to be my mom's.

I remember.

Do you?

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Dear Blogger,

That was fast. I love you.


Excuse Me?!

Dear Blogger,

Please re-find all the blogs that I am following. I spent a good amount of time (er, way too much time) putting together that list and you lost it, so you damn well better find it (please). Be glad that I can find them all in my Google reader, or you would be suffering the wrath of my serious withdrawal.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009


I did it! I have successfully switched to 3 columns. Thank you all for your help, as I was completely clueless. I'm so proud of myself. Messing with html and all. This was a much better use for my time than homework. So, what do you think? Does it look too cluttered? I ain't changin' back after all that work, but I could move some stuff around if that is the consensus. So?

I Woke Up On The Wrong Side of The Alarm

I never understood that wrong side of the bed crap. But I woke up before my alarm and not after it, which is definitely the wrong side.

This is another one of those times where I wish I had a sound recording to pair with this.

I woke up to this buzzing sound. And by "woke up" I mean I went from a state of sleeping to that state where you're not really awake and not really asleep and your favorite word is "Uuunnnggggg."

So in the process of figuring out where the sound is coming from I check my alarm, no. Ceiling fan? (shut up, I told you I was out of it) no. Some annoying bug? Um, no, too angry. So then I look out my peephole (of the door to the apartment, nothing gross) and I see flashing lights. So I grab my keys and a robe and a pair of flipflops which I don't bother putting on because I don't think I have the coordination yet.

And then I stepped into the hallway. And thought that I was dying.

What is apparently the fire alarm is SO LOUD that I actually considered staying in my apartment. Burning to death isn't so bad, right? (Besides, it was a false alarm. Someone should be beaten about the head and face.)

But whatever, I went outside and came back in and I was so thrown off by it all that after I made my coffee I reached into the fridge and grabbed milk instead of the creamer and dumped a pretty big splash in and then I was like, Well that wasn't what I wanted to do, but I'm drinking it anyway because it is caffeine and I'm not supposed to be awake yet and that sound was intense enough that I think I now have a borderline migraine.

Really I only wrote this so I could whine about my coffee mistake. It just doesn't make a very good story on its own.

Sunday, September 6, 2009


I changed my blog background because until I absolutely have no choice I refuse to believe that terrible, depressing Winter is on it's way, and my previous background was looking a little bit too autumn-y for my liking.

But here's a question:

How in the HECK do you adjust the stupid template so you can put things on BOTH sides of your blog text? Anyone? Anyone? This is driving me freaking nuts.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Back Soon

Off to visit the sister. I'll leave you with this happy picture. (Yes, momma, that's your front yard.)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The One Where I Admit That I've Been Kind of a Mess

I don't "do" change. I kind of actually hate it. I know that it can be good and necessary and blah blah blah...but it's always just awkward and icky. So while I know that the change to New U. is good for me...I'm just not liking this transitional period at all.

I don't make friends well. When I know someone, I'm outrageous and blunt and sarcastic and possibly annoying. When I don't, I'm shy and awkward and have a tendency to stare. (Like maybe if I stare hard enough, I can get into this person's brain and make them like me.)

Now I'm only here for about a year. But I do not want to spend that year locked in my apartment with no freakin' friends. Boo hiss.

So I'm trying to branch out a bit.  I'm actually pretty good at making "class friends." You know, the ones you always group up with and borrow notes from or whatever. I just find it incredibly weird to be the one to initiate hanging out. Even if it's completely unreasonable, I feel like "Hey, wanna go grab a cup of coffee?" should always be followed by *wink, wink*.

Through this trying I've had a bit of a breakdown. Okay, so actually I had a huge-ass breakdown and called my mommy and balled and then whined to Fiance about how he's got a meet-new-people system essentially set up for him and I've just been hurled into a group of people who have already, well, grouped.

But I'm working on it, y'all. And maybe next time I have a breakdown I'll blog about it instead of hiding under the covers with my teddy bear and a Fiance-scented t-shirt. Maybe.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Because It's Better To Be Aware

September 14-20 is Invisible Illness Awareness Week. I'm a little early, but this really grabbed my attention, and I wanted to share my answers with y'all.

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Meaning that my autonomic nervous system is essentially broken. If you don't know what your autonomic nervous system does, think of all the things your body does without you having to tell it to do them. That's it. The malfunction means I often pass out.

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2006

3. But I had symptoms since: About when I started puberty.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Not doing whatever I want to do. I have to ration my energy. If there are a handful of things I want to do in a given day/week, I can pick one, maybe two of them without making myself sick.

5. Most people assume: That if I look fine, I feel fine.

6. The hardest part about mornings is: Getting upright. My body does not like mornings.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, MD, because as unrealistic as it is, I wish a doctor had been that blunt with me and would have tried that hard to figure it all out.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My laptop. It's how I connect with people "like me."

9. The hardest part about nights are: Falling asleep, and knowing that when I wake up in the morning, I won't feel rested.

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 18, I think.

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: See a chiropractor regularly, if that counts. I haven't tried much, but I'd be willing to try just about anything if my specialist recommended it.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I have this one for a reason, even if God's not telling.

13. Regarding working and career: I'm a full time college student, but I've made myself pretty sick a few times trying to keep up with the pace. I would be in trouble without a disability plan, and I transferred recently to get away from people who just didn't get the invisible part.

14. People would be surprised to know: That I am always in pain. Always, as in, it doesn't go away. So when I say I'm in pain, it means, more pain than usual.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: that some people won't accept that I have a different reality. Some people will never understand, and some people will just walk out.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Graduate from high school and get this far through college.

17. The commercials about my illness: Don't exist. It was on Mystery Diagnosis once (kind of accurately)

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: colorguard. No holding the arms above the head. Makes passing out more likely.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: Friends.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Scrapbooking.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Pick up a flag and dance. Go out with my Fiance. Be spontaneous.

22. My illness has taught me: that sometimes even family doesn't understand.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "You look fine to me." or "Just get up and do it."

24. But I love it when people: Sacrifice some of their own "normal" to sit with me when my only choice is to be in bed.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." -The Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Niebuhr

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Until you find the right doctor, sometimes you have to do your own research. Remember you're not alone, even if you haven't found support yet. You will.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: that while some people could not care less, some people care more than you'll ever know.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: So many things...

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to do my part to make sure other people are not treated the way I have been treated.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: happy that I informed someone, happy that someone cared enough to read this whole thing.

Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I Must Be Sick

Because I just salt & peppered my spaghettio's. I put spices in my SPAGHETTIO'S, y'all. Have I had some kind of fundamental tastebud morphing? What's next? Buttering my chocolate?

I Think My Taste Buds Are Broken

I have an addiction. Last year at school I used half of my dining points to buy lattes at the campus coffee shop. (I didn't starve, there was a kitchen in my apartment. Hello, Ramen.)

Anyway, lattes, specifically caramel lattes were probably originally created by the hands of God. Full of deliciousness, caffeine, and hey, that milk makes it count as breakfast, right? (Pretty sure the calorie content makes it count as breakfast...)

At home however, and here at New. U., I don't have "dining points." I have this stuff called "real dollars" and sometimes "handfuls of change" that smarts a bit more to spend then dining points, as I had technically already bought the dining points, and as long as I didn't think about my massive student loans I was guilt-free.

So while I have no problem walking into a coffee shop and paying with all change (a girl's gotta get her fix) it's much easier to just make coffee at home. Now, there may be a way to make lattes on your own with some kind of equipment, and if there is and you know it, comment and tell me about it, please. Because my attempts have all pretty much failed.

But anyway, back to coffee. Just plain coffee, with a bit of creamer. I love the smell and taste of coffee, so it's not like I was forcing something down that I hated. I have grown accustomed, for the most part, to this form of feeding my addiction.

Yesterday, I went to a coffee shop. I had a white chocolate caramel latte. Sounds delicious, right? And it was. BUT it almost tasted too...sweet? flavorful? calorie packed? I don't know, but it didn't seem quite right.

So in typical me fashion, I am a tiny bit concerned. I'm the latte girl! I live for those things! And now when Fiance and I go into a coffee shop I'm going to stop annoying him with my dessert beverages and just say "coffee" like he does? What is this world coming to? The only bright side of this is that when I am with Fiance I won't feel obligated to pay for my overpriced beverage myself. Actually...maybe that's enough of a bright side?

Any other coffee addicts out there? No way it's just me...I hope.

Sometimes I'm Actually Creative

I just spent, er, 4 or 5 hours scrapbooking. And, oh my gosh, do I feel better. I watched 3 episodes of Bones and 2 of NCIS and let my creative juices flow. Of course, in the process, I also gave myself about 3 good bruises in the process (don't ask).

I also chose what order I wanted to arrange the rest of my (Sorry. Preposition necessary.) So my sophomore year of college should be finished soon. Er, I'm a little behind. Just my summer in London, my junior year, and thus far of my senior year left to catch up. Yeah, no big deal...

Here's one of my fave pages:

I am quite content at the moment. And hungry. And tired.

Going to bed, and frying myself eggs in the morning.

I hope this makes some amount of sense.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mmm, Hot Chocolate

Yes, I know it's August. No, I don't care. I crave the stuff. Happiness is a warm...mug.

So thanks to all my SITStas (try to sound that one out...) for the comment lovin' & the welcomes! I feel so blessed to have found a community of women who actually take the time to read my bloggy nonsense AND comment on it.

And for today's rambling...

I think there's a cricket in the living room. Last night there was one in my bedroom. I had to kill it. I felt pretty bad about it, especially with that *crunch* noise & all, but holy moly. One cricket can make a shitton of noise! It started up as soon as I turned the lights out to watch Smallville (on dvd. don't judge.) and it just kept getting louder. Did he think if he tried hard enough I was gonna turn into something he could actually mate with? Anyway, after calling my mommy, erm...seeking advice from my mother, I hunted the thing down with a flashlight and killed it with a pile of about 8 Kleenex. Def was not going to touch the thing. RIP Mr. Cricket. I don't know how you got in my bedroom, but I am praying that your friends don't know either.

(I definitely just googled why crickets chirp to write this. Actually I googled "why do crickets sing" but it came up chirp. Same thing, really. I think. Also, someone on that page had written "I love crickets. We do happy stuff together." Um...)

In an effort to make this post as random as possible, my brother might have whooping cough. WHOOPING COUGH. (If you yell it catches people's attention. And then they send you to the loony bin.) I don't know where he may have picked this up, but I really hope he doesn't have it. For him, because well, that would suck, & if you get it you can't have any friends until you get better. And also because apparently the test for it involves sticking metal sticks up each of your nostrils and I don't particularly want to experience that. And apparently I never got that booster because I was allergic to the shot as an infant. Awesome.

(I would just like to point out that my allergies are terrible right now, but the power of suggestion is insane. My mom sent a text to tell me and I'm like, Holy Hell! I've got it! I'm about one WebMD search away from turning into my grandmother.)

On a happier note, have y'all seen the 35 Truisms? I laugh my bum off every time I read them. Which may or may not mean they're funny, as I have a twisted sense of humor.

I have no class on Fridays, so I will end with this: Happy Weekend!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I'm Tired & Lazy

So instead of a real post, here are some pics.

My first ever target. Not too shabby!

I actually cooked a meal!

Beautiful dishes inherited from my Grandpa (about 8 years ago, but this is the first time I've really looked at them). Love!

I'll shoot for something less boring tomorrow. Promise.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I Wish I Had A Sound Clip

I woke up at 8am this morning. I did not want to wake up at 8am this morning. I wanted to wake up at 10am this morning. (Don't judge. I went to bed around 1am and I like to have a solid 9 hours of sleep.)

At about 8:04, I looked out my window. Had I opened my window and leaned out a bit, I could have touched a backhoe. A BACKHOE was outside my apartment. And the blade thingy was taking up almost my entire view. They were using the digger thingy end. In technical terms.

Anyway, for two hours I pretended like I could sleep, when really I'm not sure if anyone in the building was able to sleep. I closed the blind in our living room/kitchen so that there weren't creepers looking in, and then I proceeded to take these pictures from my bedroom:

What? I was in my room changing listening to all these men outside bitch at each other. I should at least be allowed to have documentation. And yes, I did it like a creeper through the blinds. So sue me. I didn't want to be drawing attention to myself.

On the bright side, whatever neon pipes they were using & the caution tape are gone, so hopefully (please please please) I can sleep in to my liking tomorrow. Especially since I don't have class until 4:30pm.

Monday, August 24, 2009

To Prove My Point...

And for Cheryl, as apparently 'romper' is not used everywhere (gee, I wonder why):

See what I mean?

(photos from

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Adults Should Not Wear Rompers

Or onesies, or jumpsuits, or even overalls (unless you are doing farm work. that is allowed.)

Rompers are cute on small (small) children, onesies are nice for infants. Even toddlers shouldn't really be wearing one piece anything. That does not seem conducive to potty training. It's hard enough for me to hold it long enough to strip off a wet one piece bathing suit sometimes. (Well it is.)

And wait. Any woman who has gone through that ordeal should have sense enough to not wear anything that can be described as a romper, yes? Granted, your clothes are probably not sopping wet and suctioned to your skin, but still. What do these women do all day? Not drink anything? I put so much fluid in my body that some days I have to pee every 30 minutes. Who wants to get completely undressed & then redressed EVERY THIRTY MINUTES?!

Inconvenience aside, rompers on adults look stupid. Do you really have a desire to look like a little girl? Really? And strapless rompers? Oh my gosh. Freaking ridiculous. And unless you are a size 00, wearing a romper will make you look poofy. I hate looking poofy. Also, some rompers will make you look like a high school wrestler because they are cut so low. This seems highly unnecessary to me.

Comments? Anyone? Anyone who enjoys the romper look?

P.S. Wearing rompers with high heeled ankle boots? Just say no.


I just read every post in my Google reader. Every single one. That is how much I love you all. (It was only a couple hundred posts, but still. That took a significant amount of time and a tiny amount of eye strain.)

So happy to have the internet back. I kind of don't feel whole without my blog. And that sounds really lame...but whatever.

I am falling asleep now, so I think I will save my "adults should not wear rompers" rant for tomorrow. Be excited.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I'm back! I'm back!

The lovely people at IT have finally made my internet work. (I waited here all freaking day for them, so it's a good thing they did...) I feel whole again! Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic. But still true. I'm off to do my usual browsing, back later tonight for a real post.

Love to all!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm On Campus!

...But I don't have internet in my room yet. Hopefully by the end of the weekend. I do have this nifty computer lab in my building though, which is nice. I'd catch up on my Google reader now, but Fiance is visiting, so I won't. Possibly tomorrow. Go to doctor, buy textbooks, read blogs. Sounds like a day to me.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Just A Note

So, I can't post anything substantial because our internet is crap. (In five days, I shall be living on campus, problem solved.) But I will say this: Daddy took me shooting today, and it was awesome. Also, we shot a computer...yeah...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I was productive today. Mom & K had to go to town anyway, so I hitched a ride to campus. Once I was there I traipsed all over campus without feeling too incredibly ill. Checked on parking permit & camera rental, made up a test, watched a film, turned in a paper, got into the lab (to take pictures of primate skulls so I can later identify them), and got notes from my prof. One more exam and I will be done with class for about 2 weeks. Hallelujah.

Note to self: I should not browse through the magazine section of any store. I will find a magazine that I must have. And I will probably read it six times.

I bought Real Simple Solutions today. It's like crack. Every bit of information is just fascinating to me. I also have Real Simple Weddings (aka more crack). I mentioned the bridal magazine wallpapering potential...I have a feeling that after the wedding I will make an immediate switch to decorating & organizing magazines. I wish I was better at recycling everything. My carbon footprint is probably outrageous.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My Thought Processes Are Really Random

So the only productive thing I did today was change my profile picture.

Okay so that's a lie. I made some phone calls, set up a dr. appointment. Made a bid on e-bay. (Because I am now obsessed.) I might still make a couple of phone calls for work.

Good things about today: My student loan went through. Finally. I microdermed my face in the shower. ...My life is not this sad & pathetic, good things really do happen to me.

Bad things about today: I got ready to go to class & such, got in my car and made it to the bottom of the driveway, then had to call my brother (who was in the house) and have him come get me (from the end of the driveway) and bring me back because POTS hates me. Awesome.

Engagement pictures next week hopefully! (We've only been engaged for a little over 7 months...)

Side note (because the rest of this post is so cohesive): I hate challenge questions that involve favorites. My favorites change. So then I have to try to remember when I set up the stupid account and what my favorite was at that point. And I rarely guess correctly. Annoying.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Here's a Question...

Would it be inappropriate to title my paper:
"The big baboon by the light of the moon is combing his auburn hair"?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Writing Papers Kind of Makes Me Want to Hang Myself

Good thing I'm an English major. Although I'm writing a bioanthropology paper so it's not quite the same. Except I kind of hate English papers as well. I'd really rather just read the damn book, not analyze until it's no longer interesting. Which is why I'm an English WRITING major. But not paper kind of writing. Article kind of writing. Articles are quite a bit shorter and quite a bit more interesting (sometimes).

What was this post supposed to be about?

Every time I type "behavior" in my paper I spell it "behaviour." This is the result of studying abroad in London...over a year ago. Actually it's probably the result of reading too many British chick magazines while studying in London. Don't judge. (I was going to say "girly magazines" but then I decided that that kind of sounds like porn.)

Speaking of magazines, I have decided that there are enough bridal magazines in this house right now to wallpaper the whole thing with pages of wedding gowns. I'm almost tempted to try it scotch tape style. Anything that's not writing this paper...

I'm not even sure why I'm hating this paper so much. I don't even have any sources. It's just me blabbing about my trip to the zoo, only in big girl terms.

I think the dog may have just purred.

The best part of this post is that I'm not even remotely under the influence.

Too Many Monkeys

Apparently I've been spending at least a decent amount of time studying, as my father came home from the store with a "present" for me. Also known as a Kleenex box "Covered in primates!"

Sweet, yes.

Strange, definitely.

(I realize that this is not a particularly redneck activity. I am still tagging it as such, however, because if the hat fits...)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


At first, I thought morphine was my friend. It made me feel a little bit loopy and kind of made me feel like I was on Jupiter (because of the increased gravity, duh) but other than that it just made the pain go away. And then we got in the car to go home. And I somehow managed to shoot vomit at my mother's windshield, but not before passing out. So I actually don't remember any of the vomiting and when I came to and mom said "You threw up" I said "No, I didn't" and then we got home and the car light came on. So glad I decided to toss that white sweatshirt over my lap like a blanket. Awesome.

(Reason for morphine: abdominal pain last night that apparently was nothing other than maybe my gall bladder being angry or maybe the flu. Either way they drugged me and we got home around 5am. And now I have morphine hangover, massive headache included. More awesome.)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Speaking of Which...

My brother's redneck of the day calendar says " You might be a redneck if you've ever overdosed on girl scout cookies." Seriously? Is there anyone who HASN'T done this? Anyone? Anyone?

Nothin' Like Chasin' Crime to Cheer a Girl Up

If you drive drunk, my daddy will call the cops on you. Then he will follow you (for freaking forever) until the cops find you, and wait to make sure they actually pull you over. Then he will turn on the radio in his truck and listen to the cops talk (in cop language that I don't understand) about what to do with your car. Then he will buy me Starbucks. (Er, we were on a coffee run. At 10:30 at night. Don't judge.) And then he will drive back the same way we came just to see what's going on (aka, your car being searched). All because his daughter is a coffee addict and was moody and didn't feel like driving herself to the gas station for a caffeine fix.

Dad: "Suppose it would be wrong to roll down the window and yell 'neener, neener' at 'em?"

P.S. My daddy also chases storms. Yeah.

Friday, July 24, 2009


I might be more excited about the weekend if I wasn't about to go take an exam and then come home to begin studying my bum off for another exam on Monday that I haven't even finished all the reading for.

Just sayin'.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My Evening in a Nutshell...

You know your Fiance loves you when you start to have a panic attack about reception sites/prices and instead of being irritated he puts you in the car and drives you to the liquor store and then buys you hard cider even though you spend the whole time in the car on a conference call for work and so instead of stopping the panic attack, you kind of freak out more and then when you get home he pours you some cider and sits down and watches two episodes of Gilmore Girls with you back-to-back and doesn't complain once.

That's possibly the longest not-sentence I've ever written.

P.S. Sorry about the monkey thing. I get something in my head and I have to get it out somehow.

Just thought you should know...

...that chimpanzees eat monkeys. and it's disgusting. How do I know? A video for class of course. yuck. This is super disturbing. I'm sitting in a church for crying out loud.

On a lighter note, the second bridesmaid's dress is in. Woot! I'm so excited. I love those dresses. Eeh! Excitement. If only we could find a reception hall that won't make me feel claustrophobic. I need space people!

We pretty much have internet back at home, btw, so I'm hoping to be blogging a bit more than I have been. I'm a blogging loser. My apologies. I spend my free time studying primates. ...yay.

So, right, I have to go back to being social. Fiance is here and I think it's going to be time for dinner soon.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Another One Bites the Dust

So I'm withdrawing from the stupid class. Because it's a communication class and I "can't make up the work" since the work is "interacting with my class mates" blah blah blah. But at least if I medically withdraw and give documentation from my dr I should get my (parents) money back and the withdrawal should be wiped from me record so it doesn't look like I'm a big fat slacker. Gah.

I am actually kind of relieved. Studying my butt off for one class is tiring enough. And I would kind of like to pretend I have a summer break. So I'll survive. And it's a 100 level class so it's not going to mess with my "on campus credits" or whatever that have to be 200 level or above.

College is stupid.

P.S. Fiance, you no longer have to worry about our engagement not being valid, as I am once again wearing my ring on my left hand.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I Might Care More About the Internet if I Could Stand Up

So I'm at my aunt's house to mooch internet because I communicate with my profs through e-mail and also because without periodic internet use I begin a slow death.

So, yeah, it's great that I'm getting my fix. Except I should be in class right now. But I'm not, because in the past two days I've passed out about 8 times. Awesome, right?

Also, I have the worst back spasm I can ever remember having (which probably doesn't mean much because I tend to block them all out of my mind when they finally end) and various other parts of my body have decided to cramp occasionally. Like my foot and my knee. Nothing about this is normal. Like just about everything else in my life.

So I'm kind of panicked. How on earth am I going to finish my degree if I can't even go to freaking summer class? Gah! I have to get married & work! I mean, I don't have to get married, but I want to get married and since I'm getting married I have to work. Which is what normal people do. It would be nice to be normal...

Sorry. I really am. I get these POTS flares and start panicking about essentially everything. I should calm down in a week or so...hopefully.

Oh my goodness. I'm probably scaring people away with this. I'd say I'm not usually this psychotic, but that would be a lie.

I really need to be working more. Might be helpful to stop passing out first. But seriously. I have no money and lots of debt. That doesn't have to be payed off this instant but student loans suck.

I'm not sure why I'm still talking.

P.S. I am wearing rainbow brite pajamas.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Gettin' the Heck Out of Dodge

And by "out of dodge" I mean that for the weekend, I am leaving my podunk little middle-of-nowhere town and staying with Fiance in his podunk little middle-of-nowhere town.

But, it will be a change. Even though I will be studying there since my graceful fall has meant I missed my exams yesterday. And I still have to explain my new lovely arm decoration to Fiance. And the ring on the right hand thing. But it's not a cast, just a big 'ol ace bandage. And the ring is temporary. No biggie.

I worry too much.

Off to pack and eat some pancakes. Yes, at noon.

See y'all Monday.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

At Least It's Not Broken

If you could see my typing right now, you would probably laugh. Or, if you're like me, shove me away from the computer and start typing yourself because you can't stand it when people take eight hours to type a stupid blog post. Just do it already!

Right. So...

Anyway, I passed out last night. (on the way to pee. and I was out for a while and took a good long time to get up so I am quite thankful that I didn't wet myself...) Since I was, you know, unconscious, I don't know how exactly I landed on my hand/wrist/arm, but it did not feel good. Decided not to go to the ER last night because I didn't want to admit that I might have injured myself and also because everyone had been sleeping and nobody was awake enough to drive. So last night, ice. And engagement ring moved to right hand in case the left hand swelled up 6 times its normal size. No saws near the fingers, please.

Went to dr today, got X-rays, etc, nothing broken. Thankfully. Sprained though. So I hurt quite a bit and my wrist/hand are all wrapped up so that I don't have full use of my fingers. And typing actually hurts a bit, with the pushing down of the fingers and such.

But I wanted to share nonetheless because I like to share my fun life adventures and because I haven't posted anything of substance lately. I definitely just typed "stubstance." Did I mention my brain isn't quite working either?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

There's No Point Until I Have Pants

I have a lot of anger and no place to put it. Except maybe here. And on my poor family. When all they do is take care of me.


I. Feel. Pathetic. Since about, oh, 1:45pm-ish my legs haven't worked. For a while, they wouldn't move. At all. But for most of this time, they just won't bear weight. I did somehow make it to the bathroom on my own (one time) and on the way out collapsed & had to be rescued. Goody. I have been transported throughout the (downstairs portion) of the house in a wheeled office chair. This made me laugh, which is good, or I would have to cry.

Due to all of this...erm...crap...I missed my second day of classes. I MISSED MY SECOND DAY OF CLASSES. And now I feel stoopid. (With two "o"s) Because people are going to think I dropped the classes because I was scared of the workload or something, and yeah, my profs have the disability letters, but still. The second day of class? It's like I just want someone to carry me through life. And someone may have to if my legs don't start working agin. Really excited about sleeping on the couch tonight. It's like a slumber party. Alone. Or rather, with dogs.

And the pants? I needed help changing out of my jeans into pjs. Because I'm 3.

So even though it's pathetic and not at all attractive, I'm going to go have a bit of a pity party, because I am in a lot of pain and I can't get to the bathroom to pee on my own and I know a lot of people deal with this stuff every day but there's not really a physical reason for my legs to not work except that they hate me. (And that whole nervous system/blood flow thing...)

So I'm angry. POTS makes me angry. Sometimes my life makes me angry. And this is one of those days. Sometimes I deal by being stubborn. I fall on my face. Sometimes I deal by crying. Then I blow my nose for 64 hours. Right now I really can't deal with it, so I'm just going to be angry. At least for a little while.

But tomorrow's a new day. Right?

Saturday, June 27, 2009


Dear Head,

Please stop aching. I can't take this anymore. I don't enjoy popping excedrin like candy and I don't enjoy the need to avoid light & sound like some kind of jumpy vampire. And I nap enough as it is without sleeping to escape the throbbing pain. Please, Just. Go. Away.


Happy Summer Feet

So Gwen at Confessions of a Control Freak made a post a while ago...quite a while May (I looked it up) about painting her toes blue. Er, toenails. I was inspired. (Obviously not so inspired to go with it right away...) So I bought some blue nail polish yesterday (with Fiance's help. he really likes chick shopping :-/) and painted my nails last night. I was hoping for a more matte finish but for less than a buck I really can't complain. Thank you Wet n Wild. And Gwen. I hope my feet don't scare you. (Sorry about the hair. I shed a lot.) (Sorry about the crappy paint job. I'll fix it, I promise.) (Sorry about all the parentheses in this post. It's kind of ridiculous.)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Because Mom Said I Have to Post Again

It's approximately 8000 degrees outside. seriously. And I'm inside drinking coffee. That should tell you some things.

Both of my textbooks for summer classes came in the mail today. Yay. I think.

I successfully changed almost all of my English credit (all but one class) from "unassigned" to, er, assigned. Which means I do not have to take a level 1 or level 2 writing class and be so bored that I cry and chew my own toes off. I filled 4 or 5 requirements so now even though I still need FIFTY THREE credits, I can take electives aka stuff that has nothing to do with anything I ever want to do with my life but is still pretty damn interesting.

Plus, I got my student ID & student handbook/planner, found my summer classrooms, & filled out disability paperwork. And the guy in charge of disability is in a wheelchair. Which means he knows what it's like. And while that's sad for him it also benefits every person with a disability at New U. And the secretary was sweet, too. That makes me happy.

P.S. I did some yoga last night. I don't know if it counts a whole lot because I could do it all while lying in bed and half of it was just breathing, but I think I might have lost an ounce of weight. Then I ate a brownie for breakfast. One step forward, ten steps back.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

And also...

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

Transferring is a Pain in the...Neck

So I finally met with the arts & sciences department to schedule classes & such. (just the general people, not yet my specific department, more later) I was kind of nervous as they had sent me a sheet in the mail telling me what my classes from Hates Me University translated to at Exciting New Adventure University and it all looked a bit wonky to me.

So I get the the office. At New U., I currently have 71 credits. I NEED FIFTY-THREE MORE. 53. Fifty-three. FIFTY-THREE MORE CREDITS!!!

But that's okay. I mean, one year is like 30 credits. And I'm taking two summer classes starting at the end of the month, which puts me to 36. And if I take classes both sessions next summer I could be at 44 or 47. Assuming the second session doesn't butt into my wedding. So all I have to do is bust my bum for the next year and a half or so to get my BA. So Hates Me University might also be called Screwed Me Over University, and they made me withdraw from a bunch of classes they were convinced I couldn't finish. But whatever. I shall succeed and be rich and mock them. After I actually have my degree. Which will be soon.

I need to meet with the English department, though. Because they translated almost all of my classes to "unassigned English credit." Which means I would have to take all of the equivalents. But, thankfully, I have saved most of my syllabuses/syllabi. It would have been better if I had saved them all in one place.... But anyway, I just have to make an appointment with the department and bring in my stuff and say hey, this is the same class! and hopefully they'll move the assigned credits to replace it. And I need them to get my concentration away from literature to professional writing or something. Because I want to take as few lit classes as possible. Reading=fun. Reading & then dissecting the book until the mystery and imagination have been smashed to pieces=crap.

I also need to find out if I can take my last few classes either online or at Fiance's university & transfer them back for graduation. Because if I can do that, it will definitely all be fine. Hunky dory. Fun, even. Okay, well, not fun. But at least not torture.

I have ordered my bioanthropology & public speaking books for the summer (ick) so I'm all set and ready to go. Except for that part where I still have no motivation to do anything useful with my brain. I shall require lots of coffee. On the bright side, my classes are back to back three evenings a week. My brain works better in the evenings. POTS makes me hate mornings. Bleh. And I've got the same basic concept going for fall. Mostly afternoons and evenings. Good, right?

This will all be good...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

On Family Vacay

Will play blog catch-up soon. Promise.

Friday, June 12, 2009

You might be a redneck...

Conversation between me & my brother:

Me: There's a strange dog in our yard. Wanna go chase it off?

B: Is it a German shepherd? That's F.'s dog. If it doesn't go away soon I'll just shoot it with a paintball gun.

Me: Maybe you should yell at it first?

B: Aunt M. hit it with a skateboard once. I think this would be better.

Such is my life.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Bits & Pieces

The swine flu is now a pandemic. Everybody panic. Stop eating pork and don't leave the house without a full body protection suit. But seriously. Wash your hands and cover your cough, you big snotbag. If I see one more woman walk out of a public restroom without washing her hands WITH SOAP I might become girl-in-a-plastic-bubble. Ew.

I feel icky today. Kind of like I'm on a boat (not related to the snl viral video) and have a mildly seasick feeling. Kind of floaty. Like my head is not attached to my body. Also, my left arm keeps falling asleep and occasionally stops working. It's really enjoyable. Especially when I'm trying to type. Gross rainy weather does not help this feeling. Again, ew.

I start classes in 2 1/2 weeks. I don't wanna. Gah. Isn't summer supposed to be relaxing? And also warm?

I don't really have anything interesting to say. I need to get out more. Thought about looking at reception sites today. Actually gonna happen? Not sure. Would really like to get that reserved soon, though. I just want the basics covered this summer. The big things. Because I'm gonna have a honkin' full class load this year and don't want to spend all of my time procrastinating on homework because wedding stuff is more fun. Or crying because some wedding stuff is not so fun. Can't I just jump to the 'yay we're married' part?

I should work. Being my own boss sucks a bit in that there is no one else to kick me in the bum and give me motivation. Work more, get more prizes. You'd think that would be motivation enough. Apparently not.

Right. So I'm off to go pretend to be productive now.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I'm Back!

-From a trip to visit the fiance's GPs. Not that you knew I was gone. But I was. Despite raining the whole time, it was nice.

So. The big news story is about this 14-year-old boy who tried to kill a 9-year-old girl by slitting her throat. And he did not know the family. And her parents were HOME. They heard her scream and came running and her throat has been slit. And everybody's all like, hmm, should we try this guy as an adult? Let me help you out here: yes. People don't go around accidentally slitting throats. Put his bum in jail. This is why I want to work from home after I reproduce. Put your kids in daycare and they get duct taped to the walls. Although apparently if you stay home with them they become victims of attempted murder. Remind me why I want to bring kids into this world? (I know that's not a question, but in my head I say it like one.)

I just completely forgot everything else I was going to talk about.

Stupid criminals.

Ruining my thought process.

I register for classes next week. Not quite sure what I'm going to take. Kind of hoping I can get away with taking a gen. ed. or two online so I don't have to worry as much about scheduling my classes around the same time. (Because I won't be moving down there until fall.) Wonder if I find out my apartment-mate soon.

I swear I had some actually interesting things to talk about in mind. I suck.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


I hope God can hear him from the front of the church, or we're going to have some issues.

"God can only hear me from this side of the church."

You know that thing where you have a pew you sit in every week, but then some family comes early and sits in your seat and you get really lost and confused because nothing feels right? Yeah. (Don't want to take credit. Fiance said that particular quote.)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


So I have been accepted to Doesn't Hate Me University. Which means I will now officially be transferring. I activated my new e-mail address & everything. To do: notify Please Bite Me University, call my good friend Sallie about switching my student loan, notify would-be roommate & other various friends that I will not be returning to Hates My Guts Campus.

Crap. Must also sign up for summer classes. That kind of makes me want to cry. However, I would like to graduate with my current last name and not my married name (not sure why?), so I suppose it is bust my butt to get my BA in a year time.

Off to Facebook to change my education info and notify the world. I haven't cried about it yet. I'm taking that as a good sign.

A side note: I need coffee. But I'm sick. So I'm trying to be good and drink lots of green tea. It isn't the same. Also, the cat won't shut up. I love her, but I might have to scream soon.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Medicated Ramblings

I think I need to scrapbook for about 17 hours. That might make me feel better. I've got two school years & a trip to London to catch up on, anyway.

Why does summer never feel as relaxing as you hope it will be? I want sun. With a warm breeze. I'm only a bit picky.

Short phone call to the fiance and even my lungs feel a little bit better. I'm a big mushbag.

I really want to do something semi-active, but at this point it's probably best to wait for the Nyquil to kick in and just rest. Tomorrow maybe?

Friday, May 29, 2009

le sigh...

Every summer home from college is difficult. This summer maybe more so, since I spent a good portion of last summer in London. So I am bored. I have approximately one friend from high school. She happens to be married. A big girl now.

I'm still living with mommy and daddy, normal for a college student, but kind of boring. We're in the middle of the country, with nothing in walking distance. Am I happy to get away from the bullying of the college campus? Absolutely. But my little college town at least has a park with swings. A bar. A coffee shop. Lattes in the morning. A pretty place to walk around, watch the ducklings and the evil attack swans. If nothing else, sunshine time while walking from one place to another.

I've got a bit of cabin fever. And I have terrible allergies, so I'm almost afraid to go outside for too long. Already sick, no need to give the germs more ammo.

Maybe a movie or some shopping with the sister tomorrow. Girl time will help. I just wish that my immune system would stop being a wuss and put up a fight from time to time.

Note to self: make more friends.

Just a Note

Dear Terrible Cough,

Please go away and feel free to never come back. It is very difficult to enjoy anything when I have to concentrate on breathing. I would like to do some wedding planning and maybe enjoy the outdoors without worrying about my face swelling to twice its normal size. Please don't make me beg or resort to using less pleasant categories of my vocabulary. Also, if you must find a new home, make it not in my house, because I don't want you back. Preferably, ever. And where does all this phlegm COME FROM?!


Thursday, May 28, 2009


I don't normally like change unless I'm in total control over it. I probably don't have to mention that the total control thing doesn't happen often... So I'm in the middle of a lot of changes right now. In a little over a year, I'll change my name - a change I want, so it's not so scary. I'll be moving out of my parents house - goes hand in hand with changing my name, so while a little scary, necessary and will be welcomed. I've got my first "real" job, which is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.

The big change, though, is changing schools. It's not carved in stone yet, but as soon as I know I'm admitted... I just completed my third year of college. I'm not supposed to be doing this whole thing again! Applications, admissions offices, campus maps... It's a very strange feeling. People transfer all the time. But I don't. I don't transfer. Except now I do. And while it is my choice, it's not really. Because if I didn't have POTS, this sneaky little disability, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I wouldn't need to transfer. Because I would be "normal." And "normal" people don't irk their professors by being behind even when they're busting their butts. "Normal" people don't have to fight to prove they're capable of college-level work, to prove they actually are intelligent human beings who just happen to have some obstacles in their lives. And since you can't force people to accept you, to stop judging, to take 20 minutes out of their day to do a little research and actually understand what on earth is going on...I'm transferring.

I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I'm excited. I'm leaving friends behind, my life behind. I'm leaving a beautiful campus behind, adorable ducklings and all. But I get to start again, and I get to work with a disability office (insert cheers here).

So I'm trying to accept changes. Because they are, after all, usually for the best. I think. I hope. Right?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Today Hates Me...And the Feeling is Mutual

My gallbladder is killing me, and I've hardly eaten anything, much less a ton of grease to irritate it. The pain in my back is so terrible I can't sit up straight. (I might point out that due to my amazing posture, I probably don't look any different than usual.) It is taking a rather long time to type this because my head is pounding and I see one and 1/2 of everything. All of my limbs have that pins and needles, my foot just fell asleep, feeling. And I hate it.

I'm not trying to whine or complain, but I said I'd write about my life, and today, this is my life. This is one of those days that makes me feel like "the sick girl," my high school title. I hate it.

My college has no disability office. (If you have a disability, do not make this mistake. I love my school, honestly, even though you may not see that love here...but I wish beyond all wishes that it had a disability office.) So, no disability office, I work through the dean's office. I have one advocate. She handles all of the disability work. The problem - most disabilities she works with resemble ADD or dyslexia more than disorders which sometimes involve unconsciousness. (Thank you spell check. My brain is not in it's typical grammar police mode today.)

So, I struggle at school. I struggle in school. And today, I am sitting on the edge of my seat (not literally, because I'm in bed) waiting to hear if my professors will allow me to take incompletes in my classes. Because today, my body is falling apart, and I don't expect a 180 by tomorrow. All I want for christmas is a new body... I don't even care that it's seven months away...

Coming soon, things I don't hate and some happy faces. I promise.