Friday, March 30, 2012

A Note...

Dear Blue,
While I appreciate your ability to entertain yourself, repeatedly jumping on and off the bed while yowling like you have been shot is a bit distracting at 4:30 in the morning. (It was, however, amusing & impressive to watch you leap from the head of the bed to the floor at the foot.)

This is not what you want to see first in the morning.

Please note that 5:30 am is also not an appropriate time to be yowling like a banshee on fire. And in case you have forgotten, breakfast is at 7:30, and waking me up before that is just not cool. If you must wake me up, please avoid the following:

-biting my nose, fingers, or chin (also unacceptable: biting my forehead. which is apparently possible)
-standing on my throat, boobs, or bladder. unless you would like to be thrown across the room.
-doing that creepy thing where you stare at me with your face about an inch away from mine until I open my eyes
-knocking all of the items off of my nightstand/desk/kitchen counter
-repeatedly banging the cupboards, because for the love of all that is holy, I have neighbors and they are going to cook you into a stir fry if you do not stop that terrible noise.

The woman who feeds you and seriously needs her sleep

P.S. Please note that I pee before you eat. Always.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Awkward & Awesome Thursday!


-Cat drool. Thanks for shaking your spit all over me like a wet dog. My milk & cookies appreciate it, too. I might go throw up now.

-Being jealous of the cracking sound the ice tray makes. If only my back would do that...

-Blue walking around with kitty litter on his nose. What exactly are you doing in there? By the way, cats act exactly like toddlers when you try to wipe their noses. Stop squirming and whining, dangit, I'm just trying to keep you from aspirating litter.


-Sourdough breadmaking success! So good. So much better when it actually rises...

-Doctors who always run a couple hours behind because they always take the time to actually address all of their patients needs. Totally worth the wait. (I might also note that this is my specialist who is probably in the top 5 in the world for my disorder.)

-Moms who drive with you to doctor appointments that are two hours away, even though you are 24 and probably perfectly capable of doing it on your own.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Clearing the Clutter

As part of my 101, I'm getting rid of the crap (number 77). I put it under the financial category because I have stuff that needs to be used up before I buy anything new, and also because if you know what you have, you better know what you need. It could have fit just as well under a Save My Sanity category, though, because I was absolutely losing my mind over the piles of random stuff everywhere. Two of my biggest stuff problems were clothes I never wear and magazines I've already read.

Thus far I have donated (or pitched in the case of undies, because just no) 38 items of clothing & 1 pair of shoes, which is ridiculous, especially because most of it was easy to get rid of. No one should have 40 things in the closet that they never actually wear!

Those shoes look cute, but they hate feet.

I did have a bit of an argument with myself about the jeans that maybe-someday-possibly I might fit in again, but then I decided that if I ever get back to that size, I can celebrate with a Goodwill shopping spree.

However, I allowed myself to keep a couple of those It-doesn't-fit-but-it's-so-stinking-cute items, because, well, 38 is a lot, and now the majority of the things in the closet are things I actually wear.

Aside from clothes I used up one bottle of conditioner that I was really beginning to hate and that I think maybe God was multiplying to get a little giggle. Condition the hair of the 5,000!

(The conditioner counts not only because I hated it, but because I have other bottles, so I am not replacing it. If I use up a tube of toothpaste and buy another one, that doesn't count, because I haven't been hoarding that like Wal-Mart might go out of business.)

I also recycled 42 magazines & catalogs. 42. Because I am a hoarder. (I did go through each and every one of them in order to tear out recipes & articles I would actually refer to again, but they fit in a neat little pile until I get around to filing them, so again, not feeling guilty.)

So for #77. Donate/throw out/sell/use up 100 items, I am already up to 81. I'm thinking that maybe I did not make this enough of a challenge...

Thursday, March 22, 2012


-My Meijer purchase, including: nail polish, bagels, cream cheese, sangria, and 2 flavors of M&Ms. (I found the coconut!) Priorities.

-Being unable to sit criss-cross-applesauce because it's so hot (in March!) that my knee pits get disturbingly sweaty. (Please tell me I am not the only one.) Extra awkward trying to get comfortable since it's usually best for circulation purposes to keep my limbs close to my heart.

-Getting the hiccups while painting your nails. Whoopsie. It's in to paint your fingers now, right?


-Being unable to keep my shorts up. Awesome because maybe I didn't gain as much weight this winter as I thought I did. (Though this could have become awkward very, very quickly.)

-Spring cleaning. Mostly the kind that also happens if I accidentally catch an episode of Hoarders. Be free, random crap.

-Going for a walk around the apartment complex. Fresh air! Vitamin D! Movement! Wonderful.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Things it's okay to do to your cat, but not your toddler:

Push him off of the thing he shouldn't have climbed on.

Leave him alone for 8 or 9 hours a day and hope you can still find a pen or two when you come home.

Pry his mouth open to get that medicine in. (Actually, I don't have children. Maybe this is necessary?)

Let him lick himself for an hour.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

101 list is posted!

Click over to the 101 in 1001 tab if you're interested in seeing my list. You'll notice it's a bit short. It's a work in progress.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Awkward & Awesome Thursday!


-Crying in public. Especially when you're not really sure why you're crying...

-Answering the door in shorts. When you kind of haven't shaved your legs in a few days.


-My new faux leather shorts. Do not judge me, people. They are awesome.

-70 degree weather. In March. In Indiana.

-"Mark all as read" in Google Reader. Sorry, coupon blogs. Sometimes I'd just rather be lazy.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Awkward & Awesome Thursday

Today I'm joining Sydney at the Daybook with Awkward & Awesome Thursdays!


-"I bet I can't even walk in these shoes." Followed by walking successfully and falling over while standing still.
-Blue nabbing my bra and taking off. He is such a man.
-Stopping at the dollar store to buy tissue paper and a dish brush. Whatever. You don't know my needs.


-Sales at Kohls. Save more than we spend? Yes please.
-Shopping with my mama. And consuming about a pound of chocolate each. At least it was an awesome idea...
-Reading up on my disorder with the books written & edited by my specialist. It's like a free appointment. Kind of.
-Birthdays. Specifically mine, tomorrow!