Sunday, October 25, 2009

Surviving & Thriving

I had to drop a class. An English class, no less. Which means that I have to find space for one more upper level English class before next year. Probably this summer. And I could be panicking. But I'm not.

I refuse to let one class make me feel like a failure. I've got four other classes and I'm holding either A's or B's in all of them. I would even dare to say I'm thriving.

For the first time in my life, a paper is just a paper. It's not The End of The World. It's not Time To PANIC. I don't sit down and stare at my notes and cry for an hour before I can even get started. It's just. a. paper. And every Wednesday when I sit down to pound out 3 pages for my 4:30pm class, I can't help but think, "Is this what writing a paper has always been like to everyone else?"

The funny part of all this is that I've been weaning off of my anxiety medication. The pretty yellow pills that I have popped every day for years are going away and it feels good.

So I am not going to panic. Instead, I will focus on the classes I sitll have, and on Monday I might actually wake up early to register for next semester. Maybe.


Erin said...

I have tried to wean off my anxiety meds before and it was not a pretty picture. Hopefully you will do much better!

It's ok to have to drop a class. I did it all the time, and although it took me 5 years to graduate, that is ok. Not one employer has made a comment about that, but they have all remarked on my high GPA, so it was worth it to me. Just do what works for you!

Meg said...

Thanks for the encouragement!

Lan said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I've got the paper writing anxiety too. I've got the crying and feeling sick before I even write a whole page. I was so convinced I failed my last paper and wrote it completely wrong. Turns out I got an A and my prof told me it was the best writing he'd seen from me. Dropping a class should not make you feel like a failure, especially if it's for your own sanity and the benefit of your other classes. It's great that you're weaning off medication!

emily said...

It's totally okay to drop a class. I dropped several. And, I failed a because I slept through the mid-term and just decided it wasn't worth going back and trying to pull through with a C or D. You know what, not one employer has ever asked about my GPA or anything. They only want to know you graduated. Have fun while you are there.

Sounds like you are on the right track though.