The One Where I Admit That I've Been Kind of a Mess

I don't "do" change. I kind of actually hate it. I know that it can be good and necessary and blah blah blah...but it's always just awkward and icky. So while I know that the change to New U. is good for me...I'm just not liking this transitional period at all.

I don't make friends well. When I know someone, I'm outrageous and blunt and sarcastic and possibly annoying. When I don't, I'm shy and awkward and have a tendency to stare. (Like maybe if I stare hard enough, I can get into this person's brain and make them like me.)

Now I'm only here for about a year. But I do not want to spend that year locked in my apartment with no freakin' friends. Boo hiss.

So I'm trying to branch out a bit.  I'm actually pretty good at making "class friends." You know, the ones you always group up with and borrow notes from or whatever. I just find it incredibly weird to be the one to initiate hanging out. Even if it's completely unreasonable, I feel like "Hey, wanna go grab a cup of coffee?" should always be followed by *wink, wink*.

Through this trying I've had a bit of a breakdown. Okay, so actually I had a huge-ass breakdown and called my mommy and balled and then whined to Fiance about how he's got a meet-new-people system essentially set up for him and I've just been hurled into a group of people who have already, well, grouped.

But I'm working on it, y'all. And maybe next time I have a breakdown I'll blog about it instead of hiding under the covers with my teddy bear and a Fiance-scented t-shirt. Maybe.