Dear Men Doing Construction Outside of My Apartment,
Please don't sing. You're bad at it. If you want to sing on the job when you're stuck working in the middle of nowhere, that's cool. But I can hear you. And it is very difficult to change my clothes when I can hear strange men's voices.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who is Never Going to Be Able to Wear Clean Underwear Again if You Don't Shut Up
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Dear Professors Everywhere,
Return your students' emails. Preferably in full sentences. I don't think you'd appreciate an entire email of sentence fragments and excessive punctuation. Would you?????
Sincerely,
Your Student the English Major
P.S. Question marks are typically only used at the end of questions. I am quite concerned about the fact that you have been grading my papers all semester.
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Dear People Who Live Above Me,
What on God's green earth are you doing up there? I cannot think of any activity short of failed bungee jumping off of your couch that would cause that much noise. I know that you do not weigh 700 pounds each because I have seen you. Please find a new hobby or a way to insulate your floor.
Sincerely,
The Cranky Girl Who Lives Below You and Really Enjoys Sleep
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Dear Campus Coffee Shop,
I love you. "Caramel syrup or real caramel?" in response to my order for a gigantic caramel latte was the sweetest sound I have heard in a long time. Just wanted you to know.
Sincerely,
2 comments :
A quick note on the question marks-sometimes a font doesn't transfer correctly from one computer or format to another. In those cases all forms of punctuation-periods, commas, apostrophes-all show up as question marks. So maybe the professors aren't as confused as it looks. :-)
Ah, coffee.... I'm sitting here right now drinking a pumpkin spice latte that my husband was kind enough to go out and get for me this morning. Mmmmm....
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