Friday, March 30, 2012

A Note...

Dear Blue,
While I appreciate your ability to entertain yourself, repeatedly jumping on and off the bed while yowling like you have been shot is a bit distracting at 4:30 in the morning. (It was, however, amusing & impressive to watch you leap from the head of the bed to the floor at the foot.)

This is not what you want to see first in the morning.

Please note that 5:30 am is also not an appropriate time to be yowling like a banshee on fire. And in case you have forgotten, breakfast is at 7:30, and waking me up before that is just not cool. If you must wake me up, please avoid the following:

-biting my nose, fingers, or chin (also unacceptable: biting my forehead. which is apparently possible)
-standing on my throat, boobs, or bladder. unless you would like to be thrown across the room.
-doing that creepy thing where you stare at me with your face about an inch away from mine until I open my eyes
-knocking all of the items off of my nightstand/desk/kitchen counter
-repeatedly banging the cupboards, because for the love of all that is holy, I have neighbors and they are going to cook you into a stir fry if you do not stop that terrible noise.

The woman who feeds you and seriously needs her sleep

P.S. Please note that I pee before you eat. Always.

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