Friday, May 15, 2009

Today Hates Me...And the Feeling is Mutual

My gallbladder is killing me, and I've hardly eaten anything, much less a ton of grease to irritate it. The pain in my back is so terrible I can't sit up straight. (I might point out that due to my amazing posture, I probably don't look any different than usual.) It is taking a rather long time to type this because my head is pounding and I see one and 1/2 of everything. All of my limbs have that pins and needles, my foot just fell asleep, feeling. And I hate it.

I'm not trying to whine or complain, but I said I'd write about my life, and today, this is my life. This is one of those days that makes me feel like "the sick girl," my high school title. I hate it.

My college has no disability office. (If you have a disability, do not make this mistake. I love my school, honestly, even though you may not see that love here...but I wish beyond all wishes that it had a disability office.) So, no disability office, I work through the dean's office. I have one advocate. She handles all of the disability work. The problem - most disabilities she works with resemble ADD or dyslexia more than disorders which sometimes involve unconsciousness. (Thank you spell check. My brain is not in it's typical grammar police mode today.)

So, I struggle at school. I struggle in school. And today, I am sitting on the edge of my seat (not literally, because I'm in bed) waiting to hear if my professors will allow me to take incompletes in my classes. Because today, my body is falling apart, and I don't expect a 180 by tomorrow. All I want for christmas is a new body... I don't even care that it's seven months away...

Coming soon, things I don't hate and some happy faces. I promise.

No comments :